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Her tiny condo got filthy and she was not bathing. She got a meal from a restaurant down the street. We asked the owner how much she was spending a day on a meal and he said 10. $100 withdrawal every three days, you figure it out.We followed her one day and saw her on a neighborhood park bench with one of the young homeless guys (she was 86) who had his arm around her. My husband walked up to them to say hello and the guy asked who he was and when he found out he took his arm off her. He took his hobo backpack and got on his bike and left. I imagine that was when she handed over money. She told us a guy she knew was fixing her watch but we never saw it again or her ring.That’s how we figured out who was getting the money. Obviously you don’t have that problem. When we moved her in she started to get violent, refusing showers, breaking windows, etc from time to time. It was a nightmare. I was the only child. Eventually she got infections like UTIs, antibiotics, cdiff, antibiotics, enterococcus , antibiotics, pneumonia, sepsis then passed.

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Replies to "Her tiny condo got filthy and she was not bathing. She got a meal from a..."

I'm sorry that you had to go through all of those behaviors and medical issues. People have warned me about those things happening. You are a strong person.

Hi, @greff – I do recognize the blank stare from my great aunt who lives in a nursing home and has dementia. She no longer recognizes any family members. She lives across the country from me, but my aunt sends photos. She always has a blank stare, I noticed.

That is very difficult, @penn1023, to go through seeing your mom not bathe anymore, give money away to strangers in a fashion that didn't seem right to the family, and not keep up her house anymore. My grandma started having dementia symptoms when she lived in a retirement community, and she started doing things like pouring fertilizer all over her carpet and streaking down the hall between units sans clothing. She had to be moved to a higher level of care at that point.

@greff – what do you think is prompting your wife's dietary preferences to get so reduced at home lately? Why do you think it's different there than at a restaurant?

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