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My kids don't understand my mental illness

Mental Health | Last Active: Nov 29, 2019 | Replies (47)

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@peach414144

May I please write a most very special problem I am living with. When I realized my husband was on many drugs not prescribed by a doctor, and then my friends and neighbors came to tell me, he is peeping tom in their windows, (two neighbors), then another neighbor friend told me she saw him jerking off in his car while watching women walking by I started to look into his belongings. A special trunk of his that was always locked I found open. Naturally I looked into the trunk. After seeing much pornography I then found the child pornography. I knew there was something wrong but my husband would not speak of this at all. Never. And with many, many other reason I decoded to leave my husband. With three children a six month old baby girl, a two year old boy who was born with a double cleft lip and palate and a five year old girl. With absolutely no family to help me on both sides. How we lived and struggled to survive is a book in itself. All these years I have kept this from my children. I never received a dime from their father for their support just to keep this information from them..I did not want them to know all these ugly things of their father. Now here is the kicker. My oldest says their lives would have been so much better if their father would have been in their lives; So therefore she and her brother and sister will not talk to me, see me or anything. Help me here people: If I tell them about their father I do not think they will believe me. They will think I am making this all up just to be with them. I am very tempted to tell them. Should I write them a letter of this? Might be better than being hung up on and not getting the message across or just continue on "All alone am I". (Very embarrased in Ocala).

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Replies to "May I please write a most very special problem I am living with. When I realized..."

@peach414144

What a challenging decision! Finding a reputable counselor would be a reputable counselor, maybe a family counselor. I'd suggest that you talk with the counselor alone before you say anything to your kids.

A counselor might work with you on the reasons for telling your kids, as well as reasons not to tell them; are you doing it for your own benefit; how telling them might affect you - or how not telling could affect you. Those are just a few questions you could be asked to explore. I'm not saying that you should answer any of that kind of question to us - unless you want to. We're just here to listen and lend our support. I'll be praying for you, that God will give you wisdom in handling this.

PS I wrote this before I read your post. It's good that you have a good psychiatrist. Have they ever suggested that you see a family counselor?

Jim