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pfbacon (@pfbacon)

Working with Neuropathy?

Neuropathy | Last Active: Dec 17, 2019 | Replies (17)

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@jimhd

One thing I felt in those moments was guilt. I know that's dumb, but there it is. It doesn't happen regularly, but when I'm in a big store, I feel the beginning of panic when I become completely disoriented. Lately it's happened while I was driving, and I have to ask my wife where we were supposed to be going. She gets annoyed with me because I'll almost drive past the street or parking lot. Sometimes she hollers at me to turn, or I'll have to make a U turn. On a related level, I can't go into a store without my phone because I'll totally forget why I was there. I'm in trouble if I forgot to add it to my Evernote list, which I do way too often. By the time I get into Evernote I will have forgotten what I was going to write.

I depend a lot on my external hard drive, the one I'm holding in my hand right now.

I'm fairly active, but I had to retire at 55. That was 14 years ago. I was not able to function in my work, and my PCP and the psychiatrist essentially ordered me to retire because I might succeed at suicide. Moving 175 miles was a nightmare, especially for my wife. Because I was so disfunctional, a lot of the work was dumped on her, because I was in bed more often as not.

Gotta go. Pray that I won't get lost.

Jim

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Replies to "One thing I felt in those moments was guilt. I know that's dumb, but there it..."

Sounds like you've got a LOT going on in your life. With so many challenges, I am really grateful that you are here for us ­čÖé

BTW – It is very common for people with DTD to panic when they become disoriented – ESPECIALLY when driving. I've described it by saying 'How would you feel if someone picked you up and dropped you into a completely foreign environment?' Truth is – one moment you are comfortable – know where you are – and the next minute nothing looks familiar. I thought I was losing my mind!

My husband has dyslexia. When I finally had the courage to tell his about my disorientation issues (undiagnosed at that point), he immediately said that it sounded like a form of geographical or environmental dyslexia. Thank God – he is extremely patient with me.