Stuck: Lost All Ambition

Posted by blue99 @blue99, Oct 30, 2019

I am in my 60's and I have had depression most of my life. However, I retired 2 years ago and it has not gone well. I have seen a couple different psychologist and I am taking anti-depressants. I do get better for awhile but it does not last. I have worked to make new contacts since retirement and I have stayed physically active but at the moment I have lost all ambition and it is hard work to do things I know I need to do to get better such as getting out of myself and doing something productive or fun. Please tell me what has worked for you.

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@blue99

I have friends and relatives who have depression and they will tell me they get mad when people tell them to take action because with their depression there is nothing they can do. I don't agree and that is why I try to get help and take action. Sometimes no matter what I do I don't feel better but I work as hard as I can, which is very hard when depressed, to get better.

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Hello @blue99

It's been a while since you last posted. How are you coming along with your retirement and depression? Have you found any help since you last posted?

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A nice read for today is the Connect member spotlight on @johnhans, who has been involved in this discussion on being stuck. Take a look, make a comment and share it with others on your social media accounts, if you'd like https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/newsfeed-post/encouraging-others-by-letting-them-know-ive-made-it-meet-johnhans

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I am taking Lamictal, Zoloft, Clonazepam, and Adderall. I also take B Complex Vitamins (suggested by a Pharmacist). It sounds like a strange combination. I have ADHD, so that is what the Adderall is for. It gives me slight energy, but helps me concentrate. I am on Zoloft and I told my Family Physician that I thought it was no longer working. He added Lamictal, which helped. The Clonazepam is for anxiety. Recently, I was put on a taper for the Clonazepam. The taper was too fast and I got very sick. I decided to taper myself. I am feeling much better. I am cutting my dose in half right now. I know Clonazepam is a benzo, that many physicians are trying to get their patients off. I believe I still need it for my anxiety. Without it, I am jumpy, feel nervous, have trouble sleeping, and have anxiety attacks. The NP/Psychiatrist that I was suppose to see (not until May), tells patients she won't see them until they taper off their Clonazepam. Her tapering method is incorrect - off in 3 weeks. You said you are going to a Psychologist, it must be a Psychologist allowed to prescribe medication. Maybe, you should see a Psychiatrist and get a second opinion. Either it is the incorrect medication for your body or you have something (can't remember name), where your body stops accepting the medication, and you have to experiment with different medications. Were you okay before you quit working; that can be depressing. I quit working at age 61 due to sever workplace bullying. I was told I couldn't work so put on disability. When I turned 60? When I turned 60, my disability changed to Medicare (which I didn't know). I have had depression since I was about 14. I have been on many medications. I heard that if there was a medication that once worked for you, you can try it again. It can be hard to find the correct medications. If someone has bipolar disease, it can take up to 10 years to get the medications correct. I also found out that there are Pharmopsychiatrists. There are not many. I always thought they would be the best to go to, since they know about pharmacy, which many physicians aren't totally educated about. I believe they take 1 semester of pharmacy in college. Physicians should constantly keep up with medications, since they change so much. I suppose that while Psychiatrists are in college, they learn more about Psychotropic medications. I think that a Psychiatrist that is "well-seasoned" is better and more knowledgeable, since they have worked with more patients. I hope a Physician can find the correct medications for you. It is horrible to be depressed. Those who are not depressed have difficulty understanding. You could also do some studying about medications yourself and ask what the Physician thinks. Your Physician should be very aware of how you are feeling, and ask you a lot of questions to personalize medications for you. Sometimes, you can ask a Pharmacist. They might give you some ideas, since they know so much about medications. You could tell them what you are taking, and maybe they have customers they know, who are taking certain medications for their depression. They can only suggest. Everyone is different though. I believe there is a test being worked on that can check you to see what medications might work better for patients. I also think they are getting closer to finding the gene that people with mental illness have. I would have to check that again. Good luck. I think my best advice would be a second opinion from a Psychiatrist with high ratings and who has been seeing patients for more years. Make sure you always check every Physician you see, and check if there are any disciplinary action(s) taken against them or other problems. I am not sure of the site at this moment, but I have done this before, finding out that my daughter's Psychiatrist had disciplinary actions in 3 states (taking his own drugs). It is good to walk, get some sunshine, or a sunshine light. There are things you can do to help yourself. One thing I have researched about having depression, is that your brain is different. . I believe it has something to do with electricity and neurons not getting together properly. It would be easy to look up. I am currently/slowly writing a children's book about bipolar disorder (which my daughter has). It is to help children understand bipolar disease in a very simple way they can understand, so they aren't afraid of their parent or others. I am hoping it will give them some ideas of what it really is. Good luck, and if you want, you can let us know how it goes, should you decide to try suggestions. Again, good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

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@grandmaj5

I am taking Lamictal, Zoloft, Clonazepam, and Adderall. I also take B Complex Vitamins (suggested by a Pharmacist). It sounds like a strange combination. I have ADHD, so that is what the Adderall is for. It gives me slight energy, but helps me concentrate. I am on Zoloft and I told my Family Physician that I thought it was no longer working. He added Lamictal, which helped. The Clonazepam is for anxiety. Recently, I was put on a taper for the Clonazepam. The taper was too fast and I got very sick. I decided to taper myself. I am feeling much better. I am cutting my dose in half right now. I know Clonazepam is a benzo, that many physicians are trying to get their patients off. I believe I still need it for my anxiety. Without it, I am jumpy, feel nervous, have trouble sleeping, and have anxiety attacks. The NP/Psychiatrist that I was suppose to see (not until May), tells patients she won't see them until they taper off their Clonazepam. Her tapering method is incorrect - off in 3 weeks. You said you are going to a Psychologist, it must be a Psychologist allowed to prescribe medication. Maybe, you should see a Psychiatrist and get a second opinion. Either it is the incorrect medication for your body or you have something (can't remember name), where your body stops accepting the medication, and you have to experiment with different medications. Were you okay before you quit working; that can be depressing. I quit working at age 61 due to sever workplace bullying. I was told I couldn't work so put on disability. When I turned 60? When I turned 60, my disability changed to Medicare (which I didn't know). I have had depression since I was about 14. I have been on many medications. I heard that if there was a medication that once worked for you, you can try it again. It can be hard to find the correct medications. If someone has bipolar disease, it can take up to 10 years to get the medications correct. I also found out that there are Pharmopsychiatrists. There are not many. I always thought they would be the best to go to, since they know about pharmacy, which many physicians aren't totally educated about. I believe they take 1 semester of pharmacy in college. Physicians should constantly keep up with medications, since they change so much. I suppose that while Psychiatrists are in college, they learn more about Psychotropic medications. I think that a Psychiatrist that is "well-seasoned" is better and more knowledgeable, since they have worked with more patients. I hope a Physician can find the correct medications for you. It is horrible to be depressed. Those who are not depressed have difficulty understanding. You could also do some studying about medications yourself and ask what the Physician thinks. Your Physician should be very aware of how you are feeling, and ask you a lot of questions to personalize medications for you. Sometimes, you can ask a Pharmacist. They might give you some ideas, since they know so much about medications. You could tell them what you are taking, and maybe they have customers they know, who are taking certain medications for their depression. They can only suggest. Everyone is different though. I believe there is a test being worked on that can check you to see what medications might work better for patients. I also think they are getting closer to finding the gene that people with mental illness have. I would have to check that again. Good luck. I think my best advice would be a second opinion from a Psychiatrist with high ratings and who has been seeing patients for more years. Make sure you always check every Physician you see, and check if there are any disciplinary action(s) taken against them or other problems. I am not sure of the site at this moment, but I have done this before, finding out that my daughter's Psychiatrist had disciplinary actions in 3 states (taking his own drugs). It is good to walk, get some sunshine, or a sunshine light. There are things you can do to help yourself. One thing I have researched about having depression, is that your brain is different. . I believe it has something to do with electricity and neurons not getting together properly. It would be easy to look up. I am currently/slowly writing a children's book about bipolar disorder (which my daughter has). It is to help children understand bipolar disease in a very simple way they can understand, so they aren't afraid of their parent or others. I am hoping it will give them some ideas of what it really is. Good luck, and if you want, you can let us know how it goes, should you decide to try suggestions. Again, good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

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Sorry, I forgot to mention that I am replying to "Stuck" blue99.

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@georgette12

As for friends and relatives who tell a person to take action while suffering from the symptoms we're discussing, I've had to make tough choices in who to let into my life. I have layers of people. Some I trust with my deepest feelings. Others I trust only with superficial thoughts...and share minimal feelings. I work on being authentic. Unfortunately that limits who I let into my life. The hardest relationships are with others who judge what they do not know .

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I have let very few know my depression, mostly family and then very limited. However the last couple years I have been much more open which helps others understand some of my behavior and it has helped very much.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @blue99

It's been a while since you last posted. How are you coming along with your retirement and depression? Have you found any help since you last posted?

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Yes I have not come back here for awhile. I am doing much better and focusing on gratitude and thankful for what I have. Thank you.

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@gingerw

@blue99 I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of times, and know it is easy for me to slip into that mindset. In my humble thinking, not taking any action is also an action, if that makes sense to you. I applaud anyone who makes the effort to change their situation, no matter how small. It takes a lot of energy to get out of the quagmire, doesn't it? And a lot of imagination, and not just a little bit of bravery. I applaud all of us @georgette12 @kleelibby @johnhans and all those who are reading this thread, nodding their heads knowing we are all part of this group!
Ginger

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There are definitely times I do nothing but sooner or later the pain of my depression is worse then the effort needed to change.

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@blue99

There are definitely times I do nothing but sooner or later the pain of my depression is worse then the effort needed to change.

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@blue99 The effort can be small steps at a time, and as we look back at the journey, we see how we are feeling better, and better able to cope/deal with things. It is difficult to open up to people about things like depression, isn't it? We are afraid to be labeled or judged, looked at with a magnifying glass, watched closely, or having someone ask us inappropriate questions. It takes a brave person to see who we can open up to, and here i am applauding you for taking that step!
Ginger

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@johnhans

@blue99 and @kleelibby I have had the same problem as you two. I have finally found a doctor who has been able to help me. He stuck with me and saw that I got the right meds. Some people are immune to certain SSRI's due to a gene. Then there are people like me that do not digest the meds well. The older we get the more inefficient our digestive systems get. Thus older people may need a larger dosage. I take about 3 times the normal amount. If your doctors are not helping then find one who is willing to keep on trying until they find the answer. Keep us informed in your progress. We care for people here.

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@johnhans, I have read that a genetic test can now be used to determine what meds will metabolize well for individuals. I plan on setting this up for my daughter. She has only tried one med and it works only half way. My heart breaks for everyone who suffers with depression and other mental illness. I hope that cures are on the way. I know that Mayo Clinic in Rochester is working very hard on that. Hugs to you all!

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@windwalker

@johnhans, I have read that a genetic test can now be used to determine what meds will metabolize well for individuals. I plan on setting this up for my daughter. She has only tried one med and it works only half way. My heart breaks for everyone who suffers with depression and other mental illness. I hope that cures are on the way. I know that Mayo Clinic in Rochester is working very hard on that. Hugs to you all!

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@windwalker yes there is now a test to tell you which antidepressant will work best, based on your genetic make-up. Some health insurance will pay and some will not pay for this testing. It is expensive so that can be a problem. Now there are those taking advantage of this by stating that the insurance will pay for this testing. After they do not they come after the patient. The same thing can be accomplished the way it was for me by trial and error. If one does not work, try the next.

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