Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues

Posted by mandrake70 @mandrake70, Aug 30, 2019

Hi everyone,
I've had depression for the past 30 years or so and was on some heavy medications, tried ECT, etc. Nothing worked. I ended up trying the Ketamine Infusions and they worked for getting rid of my depression. I'm still dealing with anxiety and some really bad memory issues. I can't remember a lot of things that happened in the past and I am having trouble with remembering new things. Sometimes I am OK with making new memories, other times I can't recall a damn thing. My doctor is telling me that it's the anxiety and the insomnia that is causing the problem with my memory. Before the Ketamine treatments, it was depression and anxiety that were causing my memory problems.
I'm scared that it's the medication I was on for so long or the ECTs I underwent at the suggestions of my old doctor. She had me over medicated so I wonder if that could be some of the problems too. I have this fear that it is early onset dementia.
I'm also dealing with being separated from my wife and daughter right now. My wife pretty much gave up on me due to the depression and asked me to move out two months ago. Now that it is gone, she is angry about my memory issues and wants me to come up with a plan to fix everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. I tried sitting down with her last night with a pen and paper so I could get a list of things she felt needed to be fixed and she wouldn't go over it again with me. I am pretty sure we are done at this point which is adding a lot of stress to my life. She has some issues too but doesn't believe she does so they have gone untreated. Her issues have caused a huge rift in the family over the years and made my depression worse. I have always been a fixer so I keep trying to fix the marriage. I think at this point, it might be better if I stop trying.
My daughter asked me to take her to a therapist last night because of what she is going through right now and how she is feeling. I will be calling her doctor and getting that set up today. Something else for me to worry about right now and I am really scared for her.

Thanks for 'listening.'

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@njp1013 Well, the zalepron that the doctor gave me for last night didn't work well. I got about 3 hours of sleep. So kind of a zombie today and I am waiting for the doctor to call back still. I will probably go back to melatonin and diphenhydromine for tonight since that has worked OK. I just know I can't stay on the antihistamine for an extended time so I was hoping for another option.

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ah sorry to hear that, another rough night for me too :-(...i hope things go better for you tonight

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@njp1013 Sorry to hear you had a rough one too. Hope you have a better night too.

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@mandrake70

Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd,
This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep and it basically made me sick and didn't help with the sleep. I just talked with his office this morning and he is trying another sleep med so we will see how that goes. Also, it was my anniversary on Monday. When I saw my wife the only thing she did was ask me about the laptop she wanted to buy. With everything that has happened, I just didn't feel like mentioning it to her. Maybe I should have but I am really tired especially after what she did last week. The depression and anxiety seem to be OK now, mainly just the insomnia and my wife. We are still scheduled for the counselor on Thursday unless she cancels.
My youngest daughter is doing OK. She has her therapy session on Thursday night. She is dealing with a lot of physical pain right now due to soccer injuries. She was doing better with physical therapy but re-injured things yesterday. Her foot started hurting recently and she doesn't want to go to the doctor. I understand her reluctance to see her pediatrician and need to get her switched over to an adult doctor. That still might not help since I think the reason is she doesn't want to miss a game. May have to drag her there.

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@mandrake70 I hope the therapy session goes well, whether or not your wife joins you. If she does not that really says a lot, so I hope she will. I hope your daughter's session goes well too. As you say, her problem may not be the doctor, but simply taking the time to have to go. Most kids stay with their pediatricians until they are 18 I think. I remember my nephew likes his so much he hated having to change!
JK

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@mandrake70

@njp1013 Staying asleep. I wake up between midnight and four each morning then can't get back to sleep. Last night was actually my best night in several days and I woke up around 4:30.

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@mandrake70 this is exactly like me. I generally fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. I get up numerous times during the night due to bathroom calls, and I get to sleep OK then too, but when I awaken at around 4:00 it's almost impossible to fall asleep again. I will often lay awake for a couple of hours and then finally fall asleep, totally exhausted. Being retired that's OK, I can sleep late, but if I was working it would be a real problem.
JK

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@contentandwell Good morning. I ended up taking my daughter to after hours last night for her foot. She doesn't have a fracture and the nurse practitioner thinks it is a tendon issue. She won't be practicing or playing in games for a week to see if that helps.

This morning my wife asked about the counseling so I will be picking her up to go. I'm not sure what will happen at this point but at least she will be going. I really wish she hadn't put up so much of a fight about going nearly two months ago. I don't know if it would have made a difference though.

Just got notice that my boss got fired. He's a nice guy but hasn't been doing a great job and has upset a lot of people. Still, I had thought things were going better but I guess not.

I got about six hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 4:00 but got back to sleep until 6:00. Took melatonin and diphenhydramine last night. Only things that seem to help at this point. I know I can't keep using the diphenhyrdamine since it really isn't good for me so I will see what my doctor says tomorrow. At least I feel better today after getting some sleep.

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@mandrake70

@contentandwell Good morning. I ended up taking my daughter to after hours last night for her foot. She doesn't have a fracture and the nurse practitioner thinks it is a tendon issue. She won't be practicing or playing in games for a week to see if that helps.

This morning my wife asked about the counseling so I will be picking her up to go. I'm not sure what will happen at this point but at least she will be going. I really wish she hadn't put up so much of a fight about going nearly two months ago. I don't know if it would have made a difference though.

Just got notice that my boss got fired. He's a nice guy but hasn't been doing a great job and has upset a lot of people. Still, I had thought things were going better but I guess not.

I got about six hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 4:00 but got back to sleep until 6:00. Took melatonin and diphenhydramine last night. Only things that seem to help at this point. I know I can't keep using the diphenhyrdamine since it really isn't good for me so I will see what my doctor says tomorrow. At least I feel better today after getting some sleep.

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@mandrake70 glad to hear you slept a little better last night, that is good that your wife and you are going to counseling i hope that it helps heal you.

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@mandrake70

@contentandwell Good morning. I ended up taking my daughter to after hours last night for her foot. She doesn't have a fracture and the nurse practitioner thinks it is a tendon issue. She won't be practicing or playing in games for a week to see if that helps.

This morning my wife asked about the counseling so I will be picking her up to go. I'm not sure what will happen at this point but at least she will be going. I really wish she hadn't put up so much of a fight about going nearly two months ago. I don't know if it would have made a difference though.

Just got notice that my boss got fired. He's a nice guy but hasn't been doing a great job and has upset a lot of people. Still, I had thought things were going better but I guess not.

I got about six hours of sleep last night. Woke up at 4:00 but got back to sleep until 6:00. Took melatonin and diphenhydramine last night. Only things that seem to help at this point. I know I can't keep using the diphenhyrdamine since it really isn't good for me so I will see what my doctor says tomorrow. At least I feel better today after getting some sleep.

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@mandrake70. Oh, no! Your daughter must be crushed that she has to sit out practicing and games. That type of thing is so important to teens especially, and I am sure that gave her a break from her other problems.

I’m glad that your wife is on board with counseling. I hope it proves to be a positive experience and that things can get less muddled so you and your wife decide the best path forward. Does the firing of your boss have much effect on you? Hopefully the replacement will be good.

It sounds as if you got a decent amount of sleep last night. Diphenhydramine helps me a lot too but like you I do not like to take it frequently. I find that even half of one tablet helps. A very long time ago I had a prescription for some sleeping pill but I hated them, I felt like a slug the next morning. My best aid is lorazepam but that too is not something that I would take frequently, only when I’m desperate.
JK

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@mandrake70

@njp1013 Staying asleep. I wake up between midnight and four each morning then can't get back to sleep. Last night was actually my best night in several days and I woke up around 4:30.

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Some morning I still wake up tired are wake up early

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@njp1013 @contentandwell My daughter is doing OK. She is still not walking well but I think she is doing better. She's been getting frustrated with her mother since she keeps having to repeat herself. My wife doesn't seem to be listening well. At my daughter's therapy session last night my daughter had to tell her mother things several times. I'm trying not to put my daughter in the middle of the problems my wife and I are having but I know that she has defended me to her mother several times now.
The counseling went as expected yesterday. The counselor asked about how things have been for me and told him about the depression, my father's death, the problems my wife has with my mother, and all the other issues that have come up. He was pretty shocked that my wife wanted to talk to my daughter's therapist alone and told her that isn't how things are supposed to work. I don't know if she heard him or not. He offered us a 90 schedule to try to work things out but my wife isn't interested. She says I hurt her a week ago when I couldn't think of anything good from our marriage besides our daughters. I probably did but she doesn't understand that with everything that has happened, she has hurt me so many times I can't count. She said she would think about it but I don't expect anything.
I'm tired today. I slept OK last night but just don't feel rested. I have a new prescription to try tonight so we will see how that goes. I'm getting to the point where I am willing to try anything to just not be exhausted.

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