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mandrake70 (@mandrake70)

Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 25, 2020 | Replies (135)

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@diannelk Thank you. We had our orientation session this morning and they will be assigning her a therapist for adolescents. She said that she has been thinking about suicide for the past two years and has been dealing with depression and anxiety. My wife and I didn't notice. I think we were both caught up in our own problems and didn't see it. We both broke down crying later. I think my daughter got my depression. I started with it at the same age she is now. I apologized to her for giving her depression and she just said it wasn't my fault. I'm having a really hard time with this today. I'm back at work and not able to focus at all. I just want to cry.

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Replies to "@diannelk Thank you. We had our orientation session this morning and they will be assigning her..."

@mandrake70 As @diannelk mentioned, it is a great thing that your daughter felt okay with telling you about her depression and suicidal ideations. That is actually a huge step to her recovery to better mental health! Be proud that she did this, be happy she will have a way to get help now, be proud that the relationship she has with both you and your wife is stable enough for her to share this with you. Please do not beat yourself up. There are so many pressures on youngsters these days. Please let us know how the rest of your day goes today, if you are comfortable sharing?

Hi, @mandrake70 – it sounds as though you are going through an awful lot at the same time, with your daughter, your uncertainty about your marriage and your own depression treatment.

I also wanted you to meet @jimhd, who may have some thoughts on all these things, especially right now with your daughter saying she has been thinking about suicide for the past two years.

@mandrake70 As others have commented, you should really feel good that her relationship with you is strong enough that she is telling you her feelings. Also, I think if she is telling you that she had thought about suicide, she really does not want to do that, she wants help so that she won't. She is right, it is not your fault. It's not as if you abused her or anything like that. Depression can definitely be a chemical imbalance. Sure, she may have inherited it, but you had no role in that.
I think now that she is getting help she will be able to deal with all of this better. From my experience with people who have these problems, medication does help. Depression can still happen, caused by situations, but that's true for just about any of us. I think we all have suffered from situational depression at times.
You and she are on the right path. Feel good about that.
Regarding your wife's attitude. There are many people who have that attitude, "toughen up" or "get over it". I hope your wife will come to understand that sometimes that is just not possible for everybody.
We all tend to have reserves of strength that are there for us when we really need them. I am sure you will be able to be strong for your daughter. Please let us know she, and you, are doing.