Importance of focusing on Positive with Depression & Anxiety.

@stsopoci I liked your post. You are not a Bone Head. Life is the pits sometimes, but we have to think positive, which is hard sometimes when we get depressed. I am also on Lexapro 20mg., Lamictal, which is also used for seizures, but is a mood elevator and Klonipin 1 mg 2 to 3 times a day. I have depression and anxiety complex. We live in Iowa, but when I lived in Seattle area and San Diego, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Once I got moved back to my home state of Iowa the psychiatrist said I was not bipolar 2. Like you my mom was very mentally ill. Sometimes she was fine and other times she had to be hospitalized and took her life at age 69. I am 68. Mental Illness is very inherited. It runs through most of my family. My son is bipolar 1 and a professor, but cannot teach because of it. His wife is also a professor and they live in NY and she teaches and does research at Columbia U. I was concerned about them when the Covid-19 was running rapid in NY. Liz got her tenor at Duke University. They have a lovely 8 year old daughter. The problem is we have no contact with them. With Ryan being bipolar 1 and his dad was hard on both our children (verbally abusive) and with his wife controlling him (our son) I feel that's why we have no contact. The other grandmother keeps us somewhat up to date and sends pictures of Marlowe. I haven't seen since she was 3, but do skype with her when shes at her grandmother's. I haven't skyped with her since New Year's and her grandmother sent us a video. It's sad, but I don't let me get me down, well to be honest maybe every once in a while. But all I can do is pray.
I am very proud of you that you got off alcohol and got your life into a positive attitude. Bless your heart. Keep up that positive attitude. I'm going into surgery at Mayo Clinic Rochester on June 9th and I'm thinking positive. I have to have a fusion from T-10 to my pelvis. But I keep positive and pray. I'm in quite a bit of pain, but know that will soon be gone. I can't take any pain pillsl, because the surgeon had me get off of them and told me what he gave me for the surgery would not work as well if I was on any pain pills. Gee, I made this long. Take care of yourself and think of 3 good things everyday.

I make videos of myself kvetching about whatever -today it was looking older when I wear eye shadow and mascara. I am 76. Yes, in the midst of a pandemic, this is my negative focus. But negative thinking doesn't have to be a big thing, like climate change or Covid19. For addicts like me, it's the little stabs and pinches to my self-esteem and confidence that add up until I begin "stinking thinking" non-stop. So the videos help me see myself and hear myself and either laugh or go find what Step I need to work at today. Oh, and call a recovering friend. Not to rehash my video angst, but to ask them how they are doing, and then really listen. Thanks for posting.

I really appreciate you stressing the self-care that is needed consistently. I don't think I truly figured that one out until later in life!! I do similar things, including naps if I need them physically or for an emotional debriefing. I was on Prozac 26 years, changed to Effexor last fall, and am transitioning back to Prozac. I've been alcohol-free for about ten years (didn't drink until I was 30, and was almost instantly out of control). Presently, I am trying to taper off benzodiazepines.

I noticed you live in Iowa (and I appreciated your post!)) How do you perceive the mental health care system here? I have struggled...

@stephaniebondy Hi, the mental health care system in Iowa is not the best. My daughter and I got better care in Seatttle and San Diego. We lived on the west coast for 20 years. Loved. San Diego, with the weather and ocean, but too many people. Great place to vacation. We only lived there for 5 years. Most of our time was in the Seattle area. I really miss Seattle. It is beautiful and it rains and is cloudy here just as much as there, besides there's the green evergreen trees. When its clear or partly clear there's Mt Rainier and t he Cascades. Just gorgeous. It hardly rains July through September and the temperatures don't get as cold as they do here. Well I got off the subject, but the mental health system is not as good here. I live in Urbandale and see a good psychiatrist here, most don't take medicare, even though we have an Aetna policy. But, I'm mostly stable. There's always something in life that throws us for a loop.

@stephaniebond You may see this twice, sorry. Can't remember if I posted it. The mental health care system in Iowa is not the best. My daughter and I got better care in Seattle and San Diego. We lived on the west coast for 20 years. Loved San Diego, with the weather and ocean, but too many people and they were not as friendly as here. Great place to vacation. We only lived there for 5 years. Most of our time was in the Seattle area. I really miss Seattle. It is so beautiful and it rains and is cloudy here just as much as there., besides there's the green evergreen trees that make the overcast skies not so bad. We would get some storms, but we do here too.When it's clear or partly clear there's Mt Rainier and the Cascades. Just gorgeous. It hardly rains July through September and the temperatures don't get as cold as they do here. Well I got off the subject, but the mental health system is not as good here. I live in Urbandale and see a good psychiatrist here, most don't take medicare, even though we have an Aetna policy. But I'm pretty stable. There's always something in life that throws us for a loop. Like I had to give up my dog, because I couldn't take care of her anymore. Having a fusion on my low back from T-10 to the pelvis. It's a big surgery. I miss my Lily so, but I just couldn't take care of her anymore. She went to where we always boarded her. I e-mailed them and the owner e-mailed me back saying, "Can we please have Lily, we love Lily" So she is doing great there, even at 14, she's a healthy dog. I'm so lucky to have them and they always kept her in their office with her kennel. Couldn't be better, but I really miss her.

How are you doing with the benzo taper?

I love To hear about the journey’s of people That are working on taking care of themselves. You are doing that. Good luck on the surgery and be blessed by each day. We can’t afford to feel sorry for ourselves. It puts us in a hole that’s hard to get out of. I love to walk each day, read everyday and appreciate the endorphins that are released in my body when I laugh, smile, walk, talk to friends, help others, praise others for staying positive. Each day is a gift.

@stsopoci I just loved your post. Thank you for thinking of me. You are so right about not feeling sorry for ourselves and praise others for staying positive. Each day is a gift. I feel the same way and it's great to hear it from someone else. Thank you.

If you would've be so kind and report back on results of this nasal spray. Ketamine has been recommended but was told that I needed to be monitored for any side effects in hospital setting and that this med was not covered by insurance. Good luck to you!