@aliali I am so sorry for your dad's passing. My husband died almost 7 months ago. What you're feeling is 100% normal. You may even start to feel "normal" in the coming months, then something may trigger your grief unexpectedly. Have you considered grief counseling? In my case, a local hospice center, Unity, offers counseling (group, individual), as well as other outlets for healing (art therapy, luncheons, etc). It was two months after Gary died that I sought help. I thought I could do okay on my own, but one afternoon I was laying on the bathroom floor and couldn't stop crying. I have friends that are there for me, but really, unless you have gone through that loss, they don't always get the depth of pain. I honestly would be lost without the online support group (in addition to Unity's services).
I am so sorry for your heartache and pain. If you feel you need your doctor sooner than later, call again. If you're unhappy with his or her treatment or service, don't be afraid to find a different dr. You need to take care of yourself, however best for you. Me, I allow myself a pajama day off needed. I give myself a simple task daily. If I feel up to doing more, I will. If not, then that's okay, too.
Everyone grieves differently. Don't be too hard on yourself, or your family. Some people can hide their emotions better than others. Me, I cried at menards one day (where he used to work). I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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