Hi @leeandpat – I know what a challenge you are facing. But check with your social worker friend about Medicare in relation to respite care. The social worker that facilitates our Care Givers Support Group told us that Medicare will pay for respite care so the caregiver can get away as long as the "patient" is in a medicare-approved facility for the duration of the time. And one of our group members has used this option – getting away for a vacation herself each year while her husband is cared for in the facility. Good luck with your surgeon's appointment. Can you check with your Caregivers group and your friend to see if respite care is handled the same way there in CA?