1. < Depression & Anxiety

Increased depression after the death of my father

Posted by aliali @aliali, May 10, 2019

I was diagnosed with depression. My dad passed away four days ago. Before the death, my depression was perfectly controlled; I was very strong and happy. I thought that I am unbeatable and nothing could harm me or cause my depression again! I was very happy and excited. However, when I was told that my father has just passed away, I was very shocked and in doubt that he passed away. I am still in doubt due to the shock!! I am sleeping 12 hours a day due to increased depressive symptoms! I feel the desire to sleep all the time even when I am typing these words to escape the reality. I feel no reason to stay alive. I do not mean suicidal thoughts or attempts but I mean hmm, actually I feel it difficult to select the appropriate word here. May I feel no motivation for staying alive. Is anybody willing to help me?

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lauren123 | @lauren123 | May 12, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@aliali- Right now you are in deep mourning and should have whatever kind of day pleases..." + (show)
@merpreb

@aliali- Right now you are in deep mourning and should have whatever kind of day pleases you. If you are aching to get some exercise but feel drained and I I suspect you do, take a little walk outside. I'm not sure what you are referring to when you ignoring recent events.
One of the first books written about loss was written by a woman named Elizabeth Kubla Ross. Her book has been thought of as the bible, if you will. She discusses in details the 7 stages of loss. I have learned that these are true but they don't always come in a certain order. https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=elizabeth+kubler+ross+death+the+final+stage+of+growth&crid=1SOV6T82N0RYS&sprefix=kubler+ross+stages+of+death%2Caps%2C202&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_27
Have you checked out Connect's loss group? I'm not sure if I sent it to you
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/?utm_campaign=search

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@aliali I highly recommend Elizabeth Kubler Ross's book. It gives an insight into various stages. I agree with Merry that it does not happen in compartmentalized stages. I have lost my father, mother, dear friends and the feelings and responses are very similar. Loss of energy is not unusual. Grief groups are often offered through hospitals, hospitals, and other agencies. It helps to talk, at least In my case.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | May 12, 2019
In reply to @aliali "Writing helped me a lot psychologically. I will be doing so today. Why am I looking..." + (show)
@aliali

Writing helped me a lot psychologically. I will be doing so today. Why am I looking for help? Actually, I doubt that my techniques will work with my current situation! I mean, hmm after I heard that my dad has passed away, I felt a feeling that I have never felt during my entire life, both before and after being depressed! Before I was told about the mortality, I was almost confident that nothing could hurt me, make me weak or make me cry! But now I know that this situation is very special; I feel that I am looking for help of other types or techniques that I do not know yet; these techniques are, as I feel, stronger than what I learned before.

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@aliali Remember, you are feeling things and experiencing things you may have not had before. Having a relative pass away is not the same as a parent. You may well have to find new ways to handle this situation, or modify what has worked for you in the past. Good for you for realizing this! We know you will find the right combination for you. You mentioned your doctor is not available for two months because of his schedule. Perhaps if you feel the need to see him, they would understand this is an Emergency?
Ginger

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aliali | @aliali | May 12, 2019
In reply to @lauren123 "@aliali I highly recommend Elizabeth Kubler Ross's book. It gives an insight into various stages. I..." + (show)
@lauren123

@aliali I highly recommend Elizabeth Kubler Ross's book. It gives an insight into various stages. I agree with Merry that it does not happen in compartmentalized stages. I have lost my father, mother, dear friends and the feelings and responses are very similar. Loss of energy is not unusual. Grief groups are often offered through hospitals, hospitals, and other agencies. It helps to talk, at least In my case.

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I looked at the foreword of the book, and I felt better! I am supposed to finish reading it within a month!

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1 reply
aliali | @aliali | May 12, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@aliali Remember, you are feeling things and experiencing things you may have not had before. Having..." + (show)
@gingerw

@aliali Remember, you are feeling things and experiencing things you may have not had before. Having a relative pass away is not the same as a parent. You may well have to find new ways to handle this situation, or modify what has worked for you in the past. Good for you for realizing this! We know you will find the right combination for you. You mentioned your doctor is not available for two months because of his schedule. Perhaps if you feel the need to see him, they would understand this is an Emergency?
Ginger

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I actually do not feel the desire to leave home these days to see the doctor. Reading a little of the above mentioned book has made me much better. I no longer attend my CBT sessions because I do it at home; I found a book that helped me much to ease depression.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | May 12, 2019
In reply to @aliali "I looked at the foreword of the book, and I felt better! I am supposed to..." + (show)
@aliali

I looked at the foreword of the book, and I felt better! I am supposed to finish reading it within a month!

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@aliali Take whatever time you need to read the book. When I was growing up, it was considered to be a problem to mark in a book, but I find that there are some books with a good message that I need to remember, or comment on, so I do mark in those. And, definitely, keep the book so you can look at it again when you need to.
Ginger

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aliali | @aliali | May 12, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@aliali Take whatever time you need to read the book. When I was growing up, it..." + (show)
@gingerw

@aliali Take whatever time you need to read the book. When I was growing up, it was considered to be a problem to mark in a book, but I find that there are some books with a good message that I need to remember, or comment on, so I do mark in those. And, definitely, keep the book so you can look at it again when you need to.
Ginger

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@gingerw I have taken a look at what my religion says about mortality. It was something that causes me much happiness and acceptance! I feel more energized than before! But I think it takes a little time to restore my previous, ever-stronger condition!

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1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | May 12, 2019
In reply to @aliali "@gingerw I have taken a look at what my religion says about mortality. It was something..." + (show)
@aliali

@gingerw I have taken a look at what my religion says about mortality. It was something that causes me much happiness and acceptance! I feel more energized than before! But I think it takes a little time to restore my previous, ever-stronger condition!

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@aliali It is good to read different ideas, and look at how others think. May I ask what religion you follow? I am always fascinated how there are so many different views to look at things. We all breathe the same, when we are cut we all have red blood, we all live and at some point, we pass on. I am glad you are searching, and finding peace. The work you put in to this is rewarding, and you should be proud that you did this!
Ginger

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aliali | @aliali | May 12, 2019

I am a Muslim. However, I belong to the Shia, the minority of Muslims, instead of Sunni, the well known sect. We aim to promote for peace and happiness all around the globe. The recent attack in New Zealand, for example, was conducted by Sunni members. I have never heard that there was and attack which was conducted by Shia; also, have you ever heard about the existence of Shia militant groups like the Sunni ISIS and al Qaeda?! We strongly decry, condemn and denounce such deeds!

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1 reply
lioness | @lioness | May 12, 2019
In reply to @aliali "I am a Muslim. However, I belong to the Shia, the minority of Muslims, instead of..." + (show)
@aliali

I am a Muslim. However, I belong to the Shia, the minority of Muslims, instead of Sunni, the well known sect. We aim to promote for peace and happiness all around the globe. The recent attack in New Zealand, for example, was conducted by Sunni members. I have never heard that there was and attack which was conducted by Shia; also, have you ever heard about the existence of Shia militant groups like the Sunni ISIS and al Qaeda?! We strongly decry, condemn and denounce such deeds!

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@aliali My daughter in law is Shai and said the same thing

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