← Return to Depression: Handling Ups and Downs in Marriage and other relationships

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@sandij

I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. About 4 years ago things in my life just started falling apart. At the time I'd been married for just a few years (we both had previous marriages and married each other at age 48). We had just moved into a beautiful new home and I found myself in chronic pain with debilitating fatigue. It's been a real adjustment for my husband as I became less and less willing to do the things that used to bring me joy and that we did together. With the diagnosis brought a combinations of medications that ultimately led to a hospitalization caused by serotonin syndrome (although the doctors would never admit that). For the past several years I have been eliminating medications such as neurontin, tramadol, effexor and ambien. Tapering most, went cold turkey on several, with full blown acute withdrawal and/or PAWS. The ups and downs have wreaked havoc on my entire person, self esteem included. I have an understanding husband but at times I'm sure this is not something that he would have chosen for himself to live with. One of the hardest things for me to handle is the guilt over being so needy and wanting understanding. I wouldn't really wish any of this on anybody but at the same time I wish our spouses could really know the pain that chronic illness and its complications can bring on us. Thanks for reading and I hope for shared stories that will help us to feel connected. We are not alone in this, I know.

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Replies to "I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. About 4 years ago things in my life just started falling..."

HELLO SANDY, I HAVE ADHESIVE ARACHNOIDITIS, A CRONIC, DEBILITATING PAIN THATS CAUSES LIMITED NORMAL EVERYDAY LIFE. I CAN UNDERSTAND ALL THE EMOTIONAL PAIN VERY WELL. AT THE SAME TIME MEDICAL SIDE. I TOO HAVE SO MUCH GUILT. I TYTO MAKE IT UP TO HIM BUT I DON'T THINK IT MEANS ANYTHING TO HIM? HE IS NOT ONE FOR EMPATHY, DOES NOT SEE HOW I'M LIMPING NOW. HE DOES NOT NOTICE ANYTHING. I WALK BY MYSELF IF WE GO OUT OR AHEAD OF ME NEVER TO THINK I MAY FALL OR JUST BEING THOUGHTFUL. IT'S JUST NOT THERE. ONE THING I WILL HOLD ON TO FOR AS LONG AS I CAN IS MY DIGNITY. SOCIAL WORKER FROM THE VISITING NURSE AND I TALKED ABOUT THAT. SHE MADE ME FEEL BETTER. I SEE A PSY. WHO SPOKE WITH HIM TO NO AVAIL. DO YOU HAVE FAMILY? PETS? I HAVE 2 DOGS, 2 CATS WHO ARE NEAR ME ALL THE TIME. THEY ARE MY LIFE. I CAN'T DRIVE ANYMORE. I APPRECIATE HE HASN'T LEFT ME. YOU MENTION YOU WISH OUR SPOUSES WOULD REALLY KNOW THE PAIN WELL MY SPOUSE SAID TO ME "I CAN'T FEEL YOUR PAIN" I ASKED, CAN'T YOU SEE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN I CAN'T SIT STILL? NO! I CAN PUT MYSELF IN ANOTHER PERSONS SHOES. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!