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georgette12 (@georgette12)

Who will care for us as we age?

Caregivers | Last Active: Sep 27, 2019 | Replies (14)

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@IndianaScott

Very thought provoking question, @georgette12 I was my wife's caregiver during her 14+ year war with brain cancer. Now I am a widower and often wonder about this for me in the future!

I would never want to be a burden to our two children so I have no desire to move in with them when, or if, I need assistance in living. Most of the 'homes' here in our area are not the best and my parents, who made the decision to sell their home and buy into a graduated care community hated it and too late discovered that not all costs are covered, but the basics are, which often are not enough for what they needed at the time

I have also read several stories about how terrribly expensive nursing home insurance gets when you are actually at the age you need it the most.

Wish there was an easy answer!

What are others thinking?

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Replies to "Very thought provoking question, @georgette12 I was my wife's caregiver during her 14+ year war with..."

My husband has mixed dementia. After reading Mike and Me, I would like it if he could live out his life here in the home he loves. We have 20 acres and he loves being out in the country. I just brought him home from the hospital 2 days ago and he was so confused and cranky in the hospital. Granted just being sick can cause that and he was also off his meds. I’m thinking that when he’s gone I’ll probably live with one of my daughters. My Grandma lived with my Mom and my mom lived with me. They both lived to just a few weeks less than 100. 👍

I am one of those caregivers who is taking care of a household and my husband who is 17 yrs. older than me while he suffers from dementia at age 95 now. Before this, I had the privilege of seeing my mother thru to 99 yrs. The years have flown by and now I find my own health in a scary position as I am looking at serious surgery with a fusion of L4-L5. I am weighing and discussing what is possible for me as I live so far from my daughter who has stepped up to offer care giving services to both me and my husband until the time I get back on my feet. 6 weeks to two months? That would mean a temporary move to her house which I do not want to do but she wants to keep working at her part time job at an assisted living facility. It is a 3 + hour drive one way to their home from mine. Life seems to be a series of life changing decisions and we try to come to the best solution for those involved. I have pain meds at the moment that help me get thru each day but that is not living. I feel like everything else is on hold until I get the source of the pain taken care of. I will be losing sleep until we have made that decision. Even with surgery, there are no guarantees since my spine is a mess. Meantime, I will be getting a bone density test to see if I can be a candidate for surgery. I then, will need to choose a neurosurgeon in her area, if I decide to go to her home to receive the care she offers. Nursing home insurance would have been nice if one started it at a young age and paid for it over the years but yes, it is not something we feel the need for when we are young, and , for us,waiting until we are elderly only makes it too costly and out of our reach financially. Like cmael, I would like my husband to be able to live out his life in the home we both love. Now I just need to make the right decisions for us. I am thankful for all the advice, and support I get from those here and look forward to sharing when I can. Each day is precious and taking it one day at a time works for me.

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