1. < Depression & Anxiety

A nervous human-being

Posted by A Ninja For God @kiko1128, Jan 20, 2019

Anybody somebody if youre out there and you believe in God please pray for my father as he goes in for open heart surgery next Monday. He is 70 yrs young i cant lose him i refuse to be here without him or my mother yea i know this life isnt forever i also have kids and dont know what they would do without me but i would die from a broken heart i just know it had God called them home without expectancy for sure. i can hardly enjoy the now for worrying about things like that. Oh how i pray we just all be called at once in the rapture the first go round so i wont experience a loss, my heart isnt that strong. i cant sleep i have insomnia ugh its like my brain is on an icebox that doesnt work because its so full of sadness but everyone is yet alive, God help me and forgive me for being so fearful although i do believe in you!

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suscros68 | @suscros68 | Jan 20, 2019

I know how scary illness can be. Remember to check the facts. What do you know to be true right now. Letting your mind worry about what might happen isn't helping you. Do you practice gratitude. I suggest it. Open heart surgery is a serious surgery but doctors wouldn't do it if they felt they couldn't be successful. Try stay in the present and take care of you.

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A Ninja For God | @kiko1128 | Jan 20, 2019

this means so much to me thank you for responding, and no i do not practice gratitude although i will begin to research it anything for a piece of mind. Only thing im prone to doing is water fasting and prayer, meditation with transurfing music . Thank you again

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1 reply
lioness | @lioness | Jan 21, 2019

@kiko1128 As @suscros68 said practice gratitude right now think of 5 people to be thankful for ,think of 3things your grateful for ,think of 2things that you can do for someone else to make them ☺ You need to be positive for your Dad so he will be o.k. about the surgery and you.

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catcatanzaro60 | @catcatanzaro60 | Jan 21, 2019

@nina for God I prayed for my mom to not die from Cancer at age 40 I was 25. Back then it went into her lymph nodes she had to stop radiation. I prayed and she is 75 today and I just turned 60. If you have turned it over to God then let him worry for your Dad. Meanwhile love your Dad as much as possible, Prayers for you If Dad goes to heaven you will always have our Love and support on here God Bless!

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jan 21, 2019
In reply to @kiko1128 "this means so much to me thank you for responding, and no i do not practice..." + (show)
@kiko1128

this means so much to me thank you for responding, and no i do not practice gratitude although i will begin to research it anything for a piece of mind. Only thing im prone to doing is water fasting and prayer, meditation with transurfing music . Thank you again

Jump to this post

Hello @kiko1128 and welcome to Mayo Connect,

Yes, gratitude is an important gift to practice. It can be healing to you personally, especially if you are feeling anxious. If you would like some great examples of Gratitude, I encourage you to follow a Gratitude discussion here on Connect. Here is the link,

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/gratitude-discussion-group/

As you read through each post, you will see people who express gratitude for the good going on in their life as well as stressful experiences. I would like to invite @parus and @jenniferhunter into this discussion as well.

Will you take some time to look at this discussion?

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Mentor
Jennifer, Volunteer Mentor | @jenniferhunter | Jan 21, 2019

I understand fear and I learned a lot when it was me who needed major surgery. I was a spine surgery patient at Mayo. I'm also the daughter of a heart surgery patient when my dad had a quadruple bypass years ago. I know this very stressful, and you can use that nervous energy another way to help yourself get through it. If your thoughts are trapped in that something bad could happen.... how about thinking about how much good can come out of a medical intervention, and how you will be able to help your father in recovery? If you can express gratitude toward the team who is there to take care of your dad, it will help ease your fears by thinking good thoughts toward them and being thankful that medical advancements are available now to help your dad. You can advocate for your dad by understanding his procedure and his needs and by being there to support him any way that you can.

Through all of my dad's health problems and while I was a caregiver to him, I had more time to spend with him. I am grateful for that. All of that was happening while I was searching for help for my spine problem, and I was in pain, and 5 surgeons turned me down. I really was afraid of loosing the ability to use my arms and hands and becoming disabled. I was also afraid of the surgery that would save my ability to work as an artist......and then at the same time, I was loosing my dad. I wondered for years how I would handle that when the time came, and while I was helping him and being his advocate for his medical care, I realized that I was more like a parent to my dad and that I was handling everything just fine. My dad's biggest concern was not for himself, but that he didn't want my mother to be alone, and the day came when he told me that he didn't want to live anymore because of the disability he was living with and he was elderly and very weak and with end stage heart disease. I realized that the best gift I could give to him was to accept what I could not change because it was his choice, and not mine. If I had wanted my dad to keep living for me when his life was so very difficult, that would be selfish on my part. As sad as that was for me, the best gift I could give my dad was to promise I would take care of my mom, and to let him go with my blessings. When my dad passed, I was the strong one. Two weeks after his services, I got the call to come to Mayo.

I was relieved that help for me was now in my future, and I'd been working on deprogramming my fears with a lot of things, but also using music and art as a place where I could get lost and take a break from the stress and fear. Creativity can help you, so do anything... doodle...adult coloring books...crafts. Listening to relaxing music that you love can help quiet your mind. Do anything that will distract you from worrisome thoughts. While I was at Mayo waiting the be called for surgery at the check in area, I heard another patient called with my dad's name, so it was like he was there with me. My dad had been worried about me and I had promised him I would have spine surgery. Remember to breathe, and to try to relax with slow deep breathing, and if you do that in time and rhythm with music, then you are using music as therapy.

Sometimes we have more ability to cope than we think we do and you might surprise yourself. I did. Here is more about my story.
https://sharing.mayoclinic.org/2019/01/09/using-the-art-of-medicine-to-overcome-fear-of-surgery/

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3 replies
thankful | @thankful | Jan 21, 2019
In reply to @jenniferhunter "I understand fear and I learned a lot when it was me who needed major surgery...." + (show)
@jenniferhunter

I understand fear and I learned a lot when it was me who needed major surgery. I was a spine surgery patient at Mayo. I'm also the daughter of a heart surgery patient when my dad had a quadruple bypass years ago. I know this very stressful, and you can use that nervous energy another way to help yourself get through it. If your thoughts are trapped in that something bad could happen.... how about thinking about how much good can come out of a medical intervention, and how you will be able to help your father in recovery? If you can express gratitude toward the team who is there to take care of your dad, it will help ease your fears by thinking good thoughts toward them and being thankful that medical advancements are available now to help your dad. You can advocate for your dad by understanding his procedure and his needs and by being there to support him any way that you can.

Through all of my dad's health problems and while I was a caregiver to him, I had more time to spend with him. I am grateful for that. All of that was happening while I was searching for help for my spine problem, and I was in pain, and 5 surgeons turned me down. I really was afraid of loosing the ability to use my arms and hands and becoming disabled. I was also afraid of the surgery that would save my ability to work as an artist......and then at the same time, I was loosing my dad. I wondered for years how I would handle that when the time came, and while I was helping him and being his advocate for his medical care, I realized that I was more like a parent to my dad and that I was handling everything just fine. My dad's biggest concern was not for himself, but that he didn't want my mother to be alone, and the day came when he told me that he didn't want to live anymore because of the disability he was living with and he was elderly and very weak and with end stage heart disease. I realized that the best gift I could give to him was to accept what I could not change because it was his choice, and not mine. If I had wanted my dad to keep living for me when his life was so very difficult, that would be selfish on my part. As sad as that was for me, the best gift I could give my dad was to promise I would take care of my mom, and to let him go with my blessings. When my dad passed, I was the strong one. Two weeks after his services, I got the call to come to Mayo.

I was relieved that help for me was now in my future, and I'd been working on deprogramming my fears with a lot of things, but also using music and art as a place where I could get lost and take a break from the stress and fear. Creativity can help you, so do anything... doodle...adult coloring books...crafts. Listening to relaxing music that you love can help quiet your mind. Do anything that will distract you from worrisome thoughts. While I was at Mayo waiting the be called for surgery at the check in area, I heard another patient called with my dad's name, so it was like he was there with me. My dad had been worried about me and I had promised him I would have spine surgery. Remember to breathe, and to try to relax with slow deep breathing, and if you do that in time and rhythm with music, then you are using music as therapy.

Sometimes we have more ability to cope than we think we do and you might surprise yourself. I did. Here is more about my story.
https://sharing.mayoclinic.org/2019/01/09/using-the-art-of-medicine-to-overcome-fear-of-surgery/

Jump to this post

@jenniferhunter- Very heart warming story Jennifer! God Bless You for all you did for your dad as well as for yourself and I'm sure your mom! I also believe this will help our Connect Group. Jim @thankful

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1 reply
Mentor
Jennifer, Volunteer Mentor | @jenniferhunter | Jan 21, 2019
In reply to @thankful "@jenniferhunter- Very heart warming story Jennifer! God Bless You for all you did for your dad..." + (show)
@thankful

@jenniferhunter- Very heart warming story Jennifer! God Bless You for all you did for your dad as well as for yourself and I'm sure your mom! I also believe this will help our Connect Group. Jim @thankful

Jump to this post

@thankful Thank you, Jim. It was the hardest two years of my life, and an important lesson. If I was given the choice to do that all again, I would.

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jan 21, 2019
In reply to @jenniferhunter "I understand fear and I learned a lot when it was me who needed major surgery...." + (show)
@jenniferhunter

I understand fear and I learned a lot when it was me who needed major surgery. I was a spine surgery patient at Mayo. I'm also the daughter of a heart surgery patient when my dad had a quadruple bypass years ago. I know this very stressful, and you can use that nervous energy another way to help yourself get through it. If your thoughts are trapped in that something bad could happen.... how about thinking about how much good can come out of a medical intervention, and how you will be able to help your father in recovery? If you can express gratitude toward the team who is there to take care of your dad, it will help ease your fears by thinking good thoughts toward them and being thankful that medical advancements are available now to help your dad. You can advocate for your dad by understanding his procedure and his needs and by being there to support him any way that you can.

Through all of my dad's health problems and while I was a caregiver to him, I had more time to spend with him. I am grateful for that. All of that was happening while I was searching for help for my spine problem, and I was in pain, and 5 surgeons turned me down. I really was afraid of loosing the ability to use my arms and hands and becoming disabled. I was also afraid of the surgery that would save my ability to work as an artist......and then at the same time, I was loosing my dad. I wondered for years how I would handle that when the time came, and while I was helping him and being his advocate for his medical care, I realized that I was more like a parent to my dad and that I was handling everything just fine. My dad's biggest concern was not for himself, but that he didn't want my mother to be alone, and the day came when he told me that he didn't want to live anymore because of the disability he was living with and he was elderly and very weak and with end stage heart disease. I realized that the best gift I could give to him was to accept what I could not change because it was his choice, and not mine. If I had wanted my dad to keep living for me when his life was so very difficult, that would be selfish on my part. As sad as that was for me, the best gift I could give my dad was to promise I would take care of my mom, and to let him go with my blessings. When my dad passed, I was the strong one. Two weeks after his services, I got the call to come to Mayo.

I was relieved that help for me was now in my future, and I'd been working on deprogramming my fears with a lot of things, but also using music and art as a place where I could get lost and take a break from the stress and fear. Creativity can help you, so do anything... doodle...adult coloring books...crafts. Listening to relaxing music that you love can help quiet your mind. Do anything that will distract you from worrisome thoughts. While I was at Mayo waiting the be called for surgery at the check in area, I heard another patient called with my dad's name, so it was like he was there with me. My dad had been worried about me and I had promised him I would have spine surgery. Remember to breathe, and to try to relax with slow deep breathing, and if you do that in time and rhythm with music, then you are using music as therapy.

Sometimes we have more ability to cope than we think we do and you might surprise yourself. I did. Here is more about my story.
https://sharing.mayoclinic.org/2019/01/09/using-the-art-of-medicine-to-overcome-fear-of-surgery/

Jump to this post

@jenniferhunter
Thank you for sharing your story with @kiko1128. I know she will glean a lot of wisdom from it!

REPLY
1 reply
bvgrammy | @bvgrammy | Jan 21, 2019

Hi, I am a believer and have dealt with fear and anxiety all my life. I am 71 years old. Those kinds of things are so scary but we know that God is in control and must live for just today. He already has tomorrow and next week in His hands. I am sorry that you are so afraid but perhaps you could open the Word and start reading. The book of psalms is so good. I also have started deep breathing. They say it helps your brain calm down. I will say a prayer for you and your dad. Sheila

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