~ Just dropping by: Life goes on, whether we want it to or not ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Dec 28, 2018

Hi all .... I'm just dropping by to say "hi." Lisa was kind enough to send me a note and that was a blessing. I don't know what to say except life goes on, whether we want it to or not.
abby

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Hi Lisa ..... I've heard that any type of Cocker Spaniel is very stubborn and strong willed .... I can attest to that with my Cockalier. I had rescued a Cavie about 10 years ago from a rescue group who snatched them from puppy mills (Molly was 4 when I got her) and she was so timid and shy that she'd curl up in a little ball and just stare around., The Vet said he thought she'd had at least 4 litters of pups. Well, she became my "forever friend" and when I had to put her down, due to stage 5 heart problems, it took a long time to get over it. I really wanted another one but didn't have the money for one nor did I want to go through the heart situation again. Plus Molly's pancreas was totally non-functioning so she had to take pills for that her whole life. After about 6-8 monhs I still had not been able to get passed missing Molly and kept combing the internet for a rescue ... even called the rescue group where I got her .... none there at that time.
So, last May my daughters said to me, "hey Mom, let's go for a ride." It was a nice day and I was ready for some fresh air. We drove, and drove, and drove - for 3 hours! I said, "what in the world are we doing, where are we going?" All they said was "you'll see." We pulled into a parking lot on the VA/TN line and sat there for several minutes. Next thing we knew a white SUV pulled up, a woman came out holding this tiny Cockalier all wrapped in a fleece blanket. My heart just melted. That little face ..... I can still see it (in bigger form of courrse!). Here my 3 kids had gone together and gotten me a Cockalier. One of them had researched them and breeders are trying to breed the heart problems out of the Cavies, thus they mate a Cavalier with a Cocker Spaniel and get the Cockalier.
And I should even think about Frederick anymore? I don't think so.
Re. the job ..... I have a neighbor who works at the local private psychiatric hospital and she said that each department is always looking for receptionists. So, I redid my resume', my daughter printed it out for me - 25 copies. I'll give her half to give to the dept. heads and I'll take some to our local hospital which is also set up with receptionists in each department.. Then I'll just have to see.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi Lisa ..... I've heard that any type of Cocker Spaniel is very stubborn and strong willed .... I can attest to that with my Cockalier. I had rescued a Cavie about 10 years ago from a rescue group who snatched them from puppy mills (Molly was 4 when I got her) and she was so timid and shy that she'd curl up in a little ball and just stare around., The Vet said he thought she'd had at least 4 litters of pups. Well, she became my "forever friend" and when I had to put her down, due to stage 5 heart problems, it took a long time to get over it. I really wanted another one but didn't have the money for one nor did I want to go through the heart situation again. Plus Molly's pancreas was totally non-functioning so she had to take pills for that her whole life. After about 6-8 monhs I still had not been able to get passed missing Molly and kept combing the internet for a rescue ... even called the rescue group where I got her .... none there at that time.
So, last May my daughters said to me, "hey Mom, let's go for a ride." It was a nice day and I was ready for some fresh air. We drove, and drove, and drove - for 3 hours! I said, "what in the world are we doing, where are we going?" All they said was "you'll see." We pulled into a parking lot on the VA/TN line and sat there for several minutes. Next thing we knew a white SUV pulled up, a woman came out holding this tiny Cockalier all wrapped in a fleece blanket. My heart just melted. That little face ..... I can still see it (in bigger form of courrse!). Here my 3 kids had gone together and gotten me a Cockalier. One of them had researched them and breeders are trying to breed the heart problems out of the Cavies, thus they mate a Cavalier with a Cocker Spaniel and get the Cockalier.
And I should even think about Frederick anymore? I don't think so.
Re. the job ..... I have a neighbor who works at the local private psychiatric hospital and she said that each department is always looking for receptionists. So, I redid my resume', my daughter printed it out for me - 25 copies. I'll give her half to give to the dept. heads and I'll take some to our local hospital which is also set up with receptionists in each department.. Then I'll just have to see.
abby

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@amberpep

How nice that you have a connection with a hospital! I hope something comes up for you soon.

REPLY

Well, it's whiney me again .... nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends .... still can't find a job - it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in - it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue - the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind .... remembrances of 1971 .... it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Well, it's whiney me again .... nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends .... still can't find a job - it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in - it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue - the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind .... remembrances of 1971 .... it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

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Hi, @amberpep - I merged your message with this previous discussion you were having this last month so that the others you were talking with can catch up on what is happening with you currently, like @hopeful33250 @pjss48 @parus. I would also like to invite @johnbishop @lioness @gingerw @gailb to join this discussion.

I'm very sorry for the abuse you went through. That sounds very hard to have those things come flowing back.

I'm guessing you've had some memories of this situation in the '70s come to you before all of a sudden? How have you typically dealt with a rush of memories or emotions about it?

REPLY
@amberpep

Well, it's whiney me again .... nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends .... still can't find a job - it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in - it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue - the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind .... remembrances of 1971 .... it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

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Hi @amberprep, when I'm down in the dumpers I now have a "go to" site to get the positive juices flowing again. It's not a cure all but it has helped me more than once. They have a lot of short videos that help you focus on something that hopefully may be uplifting for you.

https://www.resilientoption.com/

Do you still have your Cockalier?

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@johnbishop

Hi @amberprep, when I'm down in the dumpers I now have a "go to" site to get the positive juices flowing again. It's not a cure all but it has helped me more than once. They have a lot of short videos that help you focus on something that hopefully may be uplifting for you.

https://www.resilientoption.com/

Do you still have your Cockalier?

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@johnbishop Thank you John for the uplifting share.

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@amberpep Hey there girl when those uglies come from the past it can leave one feeling so alone and afraid. I would that these attacks would not be so painful. All one can do is tough it out. Sure hoping you are okay and getting reality squared back round.

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@johnbishop

Hi @amberprep, when I'm down in the dumpers I now have a "go to" site to get the positive juices flowing again. It's not a cure all but it has helped me more than once. They have a lot of short videos that help you focus on something that hopefully may be uplifting for you.

https://www.resilientoption.com/

Do you still have your Cockalier?

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Hi John .... yes, I still have Ginger. She's adorable, but wow, she's into everything. She'll be 1 on the 25th of this month.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Well, it's whiney me again .... nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends .... still can't find a job - it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in - it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue - the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind .... remembrances of 1971 .... it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep I feel bad for you. I’m sort of in the same situation. I lived in some low income apartments a couple of years ago. They bring with them their own set of special problems. Now I’m living with my brother which is, to say the least, stressful! So don’t stop looking for a church! Don’t give up! Never! ......Karen

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