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Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Feb 18, 2019 | Replies (357)Comment receiving replies
@kdo0827 I can relate to what you are going through. I have 2 kids, but they're a bit younger than yours (23 & 26). They are fully involved in their own lives, and don't have much time for their old man. Any time my wife and/or I start questioning their priorities, we always swing back to what we were like at that age and where our attention was. It was pretty much the same as where our kids are right now. Does that make it right? Nope. From a big picture perspective, though, the joy of being a parent today is watching them learn, grow and live full lives as young adults. I certainly wish they'd call or stop by more often. But their focus is on other things, and I completely understand. If that means a little less of this old fart in their lives right now, I can deal with that as long as they are happy.
And when I'm feeling totally left out, I simply butt in. I'm their dad. I get to do that.
Replies to "@kdo0827 I can relate to what you are going through. I have 2 kids, but they're..."
@mickj, @kdo0827- Interesting conversation. My 2 older daughters (29 & 38) all in are great kids and I know they love us very much, but for every birthday, fathers day & even Christmas, they much prefer me to send them a link from Amazon on what I would like. Several years back I told them both that I had everything I needed and asked them to call me regularly (at least once a month) and have a conversation and tell me they love me. Seems rather simple to me? Well that has not happened and I think they believe I'm kidding, but I've let them know that I'm not. Somehow that seems to difficult for them? Now that I have an I-Phone rather than my old trusty flip phone, they occasionaly text me. It helps if I get it started though. On a recent trip to my youngest daughters out of state, we had given her our flights, etc. and when we touched base as time drew close she told us that we would have to grab an Uber from the airport to the house. Evidently it was an inconvenient time due to our granddaughters nap time.
Call me old fashioned, but I never would have asked my folks to take a cab whenever they visited me. I agree with an earlier post that once they get a bit older they will appreciate perhaps us more and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
@mickj- You are funny. It's extremely disconcerting when kids don't seem to "care" the way we do or the way we think that they should.
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I totally agree and feel the same way. My problem is when I need them to at least call when I’m not doing well. I suffer from depression, neuropathy, diabetes, epilepsy and chronic pain so I sometimes need a little love from them. I’d like to be thought of more than the one to give money or get them out of a bind.