Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

@hopeful33250 Teresa, I told myself and my husband last night that the way to look at it is the fact that it is so close to the push off from this area, that there must be nothing to worry about. That the there is a Greater Hand involved in all of this for me, and this is a diagnostic tool to be considered.
Ginger

@travelgirl Yes, I had my CT and appt. today. I now definitely have 3 nodules and at least one is large enough to biopsy. They will be doing a needle biopsy on that but I don’t have a date yet. The dr. believes this is the triple negative breast cancer and not lung cancer. However, they thought the same thing when they did the wedge resection last year and it turned out to be lung cancer. Regardless, it will be stage 4 because they are in the opposite lung from the last time. Of course, if it's the TNBC, it would be stage 4. What I really questioned was that even if the biopsied nodule is one kind of cancer, there is no guarantee that the other 2 nodules are the same kind of cancer and it is too dangerous to do a needle biopsy in the lungs in 3 different places at the same time. I understand they will wait until that first needle biopsy is done, hopefully see what that is and if it is lung cancer, they will surgically remove all 3. If it's breast cancer, well, we cross that bridge when we come to it. I guess I was sure it was the lung cancer in my own mind and didn’t realize it would be considered metastatic since it was in the other lung. I suppose the only bright spot in this is that if it's the breast cancer, I know my smoking for so many years played no part in it so I don’t have to feel guilty about that. I do not know why he believes it’s TNBC as opposed to lung cancer but he was wrong about that last year.

In a previous post, I talked about issues with my parents and my oldest son. Since then, my middle son has told me he is getting a divorce and I cry every time I think about it. They have been married for 23 years and I love her like she was my own. He’s not trying to hide that’s this is entirely his idea and frankly, I’d like to smack the you know what out of him. I don’t know how much more stress I can handle and I feel so badly for my poor husband. He wouldn’t have even told us now but my youngest son (who is my rock) told him that I was suspicious something was wrong and it was worrying me to death and he had to tell me the truth. I don’t think anyone had any idea how hard I would take it.

We are leaving Monday to go visit our youngest son. We’re driving and will be stopping in Nashville for a few days, going on to Tim’s in St. Louis and then on to their new lake cottage on Lake of the Ozarks. We are designated baby sitters during the day for 4 days while they film an episode of HGTV’s Lakefront Bargain Hunt. I think that will be fun to see. Their realtor set this all up. We’ll be gone a total of almost 2 weeks and my biopsy will be after we return. I figure it has waited this long, 2 weeks shouldn’t make much of a difference.

@travelgirl Yes, I had my CT and appt. today. I now definitely have 3 nodules and at least one is large enough to biopsy. They will be doing a needle biopsy on that but I don’t have a date yet. The dr. believes this is the triple negative breast cancer and not lung cancer. However, they thought the same thing when they did the wedge resection last year and it turned out to be lung cancer. Regardless, it will be stage 4 because they are in the opposite lung from the last time. Of course, if it's the TNBC, it would be stage 4. What I really questioned was that even if the biopsied nodule is one kind of cancer, there is no guarantee that the other 2 nodules are the same kind of cancer and it is too dangerous to do a needle biopsy in the lungs in 3 different places at the same time. I understand they will wait until that first needle biopsy is done, hopefully see what that is and if it is lung cancer, they will surgically remove all 3. If it's breast cancer, well, we cross that bridge when we come to it. I guess I was sure it was the lung cancer in my own mind and didn’t realize it would be considered metastatic since it was in the other lung. I suppose the only bright spot in this is that if it's the breast cancer, I know my smoking for so many years played no part in it so I don’t have to feel guilty about that. I do not know why he believes it’s TNBC as opposed to lung cancer but he was wrong about that last year.

In a previous post, I talked about issues with my parents and my oldest son. Since then, my middle son has told me he is getting a divorce and I cry every time I think about it. They have been married for 23 years and I love her like she was my own. He’s not trying to hide that’s this is entirely his idea and frankly, I’d like to smack the you know what out of him. I don’t know how much more stress I can handle and I feel so badly for my poor husband. He wouldn’t have even told us now but my youngest son (who is my rock) told him that I was suspicious something was wrong and it was worrying me to death and he had to tell me the truth. I don’t think anyone had any idea how hard I would take it.

We are leaving Monday to go visit our youngest son. We’re driving and will be stopping in Nashville for a few days, going on to Tim’s in St. Louis and then on to their new lake cottage on Lake of the Ozarks. We are designated baby sitters during the day for 4 days while they film an episode of HGTV’s Lakefront Bargain Hunt. I think that will be fun to see. Their realtor set this all up. We’ll be gone a total of almost 2 weeks and my biopsy will be after we return. I figure it has waited this long, 2 weeks shouldn’t make much of a difference.

@cwm1 The time away will be good for you. Take time to smell the fresh air, play with your grandchildren, and enjoy. What is in the future is unknown.
Ginger

@gingerw, thinking of you today.

@colleenyoung Thank you. If anyone has to go to a Los Angeles area hospital, I recommend Huntington Memorial in Pasadena. This is where I had my PET CT scan done today. After having to reset my appt from Tues AM to this afternoon [the machine broke down as I was on my way in], the entire staff set about making things right. They changed everything to "stat", and took great care with me. The radiologist had already started his read and dictation of first section before second was completed, report headed to hematologist-oncologist tonight. I have an appt on Mon afternoon with my h-o for the results. They were nothing but professional, and sincerely wished my luck on Monday.
Ginger

@colleenyoung Thank you. If anyone has to go to a Los Angeles area hospital, I recommend Huntington Memorial in Pasadena. This is where I had my PET CT scan done today. After having to reset my appt from Tues AM to this afternoon [the machine broke down as I was on my way in], the entire staff set about making things right. They changed everything to "stat", and took great care with me. The radiologist had already started his read and dictation of first section before second was completed, report headed to hematologist-oncologist tonight. I have an appt on Mon afternoon with my h-o for the results. They were nothing but professional, and sincerely wished my luck on Monday.
Ginger

@colleenyoung Thank you. If anyone has to go to a Los Angeles area hospital, I recommend Huntington Memorial in Pasadena. This is where I had my PET CT scan done today. After having to reset my appt from Tues AM to this afternoon [the machine broke down as I was on my way in], the entire staff set about making things right. They changed everything to "stat", and took great care with me. The radiologist had already started his read and dictation of first section before second was completed, report headed to hematologist-oncologist tonight. I have an appt on Mon afternoon with my h-o for the results. They were nothing but professional, and sincerely wished my luck on Monday.
Ginger