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@dazlin @dd1931

My sister was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 42 years ago. She had always been troubled, even as a 3 yr old. She had such bad temper tantrums that the doctor told my mom to throw a cup of cold water in her face to make her stop. I'm sure that didn't help her, but seemed to work when she was little. As we got to our teen years, she became worse. As an adult she was impossible to deal with. I had to call the police to come and help my parents as she was hitting them while they were in bed. As I was calling, she grabbed me and picked me up by the collar of my shirt and yelled at me. I was shocked at her strength! She then tore the door off a bedroom. I was afraid of her after that.

Many of our family gatherings were ruined by her tantrums and yelling. When her son was 3 years old she called and told me to come and pick him up because he was the devil and she was going to kill him. I went to her apartment and picked him up. He lived with me for about 8 months and then she showed up one day and took him. I moved to California shortly after.

Eventually she followed me to California with her son and her new husband. There were several incidents there before she finally ran away and left her 15 year old son to fend for himself. My husband and I took him in and helped him until he graduated from high school. Unfortunately, he's a mentally ill person who is back living with his mom. He's 44 years old now.

My husband and I have no contact with my sister or my nephew now, and haven't for about 25 years now. She won't get help for her illness and she's too unpredictable to have in my life. I decided that my sister, who I loved, has "died," and there is another person living in her body. It's very sad, but it was the only way I could protect myself and my family from her toxic personality and violent behavior.

I'm sorry to say, I don't have any real advice for you, except to get counseling for yourself and other family members. Also watch out for violent outbursts and threats, and don't forget to call for help if you need it. I hope you can handle the person in your life who has this problem. I think they look for a "rescuer" who will help them, but "kick you" when you do; they can't seem to help themselves to keep from doing that. I'm hoping the best for you and your family or friend who suffers from this disorder.

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Replies to "@dazlin @dd1931 My sister was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 42 years ago. She had..."

Your journey and that of your family must have been a difficult one. One of the most important things you can do is educate yourself on your sisters condition and learn to set boundaries so you do not let it effect you in a negative way. Where is her son now. He must be rather traumatised by his mothers unpredictable behaviours.There are many respurces on youtube on relationships with people with behaviour disorders. Stay strong and look after yourself. X

Thank you for posting this because I see your sister in my daughter. I sometimes think, unless you have actually witnessed, what goes on in my house on a daily basis, you wouldn't believe it. Especially the part where you wrote that someone else is living in your sister's body. Totally feel the same way about my daughter. Sometimes I look at her when she's not watching, and ask myself if she is still in there and how can I reach her. And I also feel that when I do help her, I get kicked in the teeth the next minute. Almost like she doesn't remember what happened only 6 hours ago. Most bizarre thing I've ever seen. She is out of her mind and I just don't understand. I don't understand that you can be this loving sweet girl and then develop this disorder, or come to the height of this order and you're looking at a totally different person. However, I do appreciate your post because I don't feel anyone really understands how complex this is and you seemed to hit the nail on the head. It makes me feel less alone.