← Return to ~ sadness ~

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.harp player (@amberpep)

~ sadness ~

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 2, 2018 | Replies (66)

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@kanaazpereira

Hi @amberpep,

Past relationships continue to have hold over us even when we think we've adjusted to a new life or moved on. Because your X and you enjoyed some special times together, it makes perfect sense to feel sad and resentful when he meets someone else. Like Teresa @hopeful33250, I'm also happy you shared your emotions here – many experts say that the first step to feeling better is admitting or being aware of how you're feeling.

At times like this we often look at the past through rose coloured spectacles; you tend to forget all the reasons you and your X parted, right? Try and surround yourself with your loved ones and keep busy – keep sharing with the Connect community – and things will start looking better.

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Replies to "Hi @amberpep, Past relationships continue to have hold over us even when we think we've adjusted..."

Hi Kanaaz … I keep reading and re-reading your note to me. It's very encouraging …. I never thought of the fact that they do seem to have a hold over us even when we think we've adjusted and moved on. I wonder if, after 40 years of marriage, with 3 great adult kids which we both raised together, I'll ever get passed it. And the fact that he only lives about 15-18 miles from here makes it more difficult. Rose colored glasses describes it perfect. My X was never a "romantic" guy – sort of hit the sack and take care of business. (I'm sorry if that's offensive). When I think of and see other husbands tell their wives how much they love them, they're beautiful, and they'd never have married anyone else …… it's really hurtful. Are there really men like that? I always felt like a maid, housekeeper, mother, laundress, and sex partner …. that was it. No words of tenderness.
I'm glad I have you post to keep. Thank you friend,
abby