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mybattle (@mybattle)


Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Aug 22, 2018 | Replies (28)

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Hi there, @mybattle. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I hope that you will take a few moments to visit from time to time. To share more of your story, or to ask questions. My name is Mamacita and I started out in 2016 by checking out the different groups. I returned in 2018 and sort of zeroed in on depression, chronic pain, and types of joint diseases. I can relate to many conditions, but the worst beast to battle is depression.

Part of that is because everyone keeps telling you to just put a smile on your face, take up a hobby, or keep a gratitude journal. All of those things are wonderful ideas, but they do absolutely nothing for a chemical imbalance. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me tremendously in my early yesrs. Yet I still needed medication. There was a lot of trauma in my life, so counseling and changing my negative thought patterns were essential for regaining my health. Recently, mindfulness has proven to help me focus on living the life Ive always dreamed of.

I must confess that many times one medication alone does not help. I was having nightmares and breakthrough depression. My wonderful PCP put me back on Wellbutrin and it has totally turned my life around. Depression is not just sadness. It's the feelings of despair and worthlessness. Of failure and never being good enough. Suicidal ideation.

Having someone to talk to helps tremendously. I call it having a "tribe." Recently I became a Volunteer Mentor here. I don't give advice, but I love to share my stories. My experience, strength and hope. We are better together. Blessings,

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Replies to "Hi there, @mybattle. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I hope that you will take a few..."

I wish I could tell my story. I just know I have talked to Mayo 4 different times and they say they are always going to get back to me. And they never have.
I need to see someone for complex ptsd with ongoing trauma and huge depression that is resistant. I have to see see the help now, before it us to late.

How does one talk to others when others are happy and enjoying their retirement years. Medication did horrible things and many made me mean when I am a passive person. And depression is not just sadness. After 67 years of not being good enough I do not see any thing changing. Guess this is depression. If I could choose not to be depressed I would surely do so. Ideation gets me through at times.

Hi, @tina5 — thanks for posting this information about not hearing back here. Please be assured Mayo Clinic would want to right that. Have you by chance called this office to speak to someone about your concerns?

Office of Patient Experience
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parus, you can talk to me. The path of depression is not easy. I post on Facebook about wonderful things in our lives, but I don't tell the whole story. Here, I can totally be myself and be transparent. I will never forget the darkness that was my life. From the age of three. All different kinds of medicines and treatment plans. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness. Misdiagnoses. Inept and bungling doctors who didn't care. Some did., but they still misdiagnosed me. Maybe they would have helped me more if I had been honest with them. I was afraid to tell them all my symptoms. I already felt defective enough. My life is good, and that's why I do what I do here. I know what it feels like to be at rock bottom. And I don't want anyone else to feel that way. There is hope. There is a way out of the darkness. I am Mamacita, and I am a Volunteer Mentor here at Mayo Clinic Connect. Hugs and hope,

Mamacita, how did you get out of your depression? Did you take meds? Are you on them now? My psychiatrist started me on BuSpar several months ago and now want to add paxil at night along with taking Valerian root and Klonopin for sleep. I haven't taken the Valerian or Paxil yet as I'm concerned that taking Valerian and paxil and Klonopin at night would make be really groggy the next day. I also have asthma and am concerned that Valerian might affect my respiratory system. Any suggestions?

Hi @tina5, i wanted to check in with you and see how are you doing today?

I truly hope there is a way out.


I wanted to respond to your post, even though you didn't ask. I only have personal experience to share, therefore it's anecdotal. With the reminder that everyone reacts differently to medication, I want to caution you to get a DNA test before you take the new antidepressants. My son was prescribed Paxil when in his 20s. He was very depressed and the Paxil did help. As he got into his late 30s his life was more stable and he was in talk therapy steadily. He decided to get off the Paxil and began cutting back with his therapist overseeing it.

He was down to 5 mg when he developed a bad rash on his calves. No one could diagnose what it was and after a couple of months it was much worse. The doctor decided to do a biopsy on the rash. Ultimately they diagnosed it as a reaction to withdrawing from Paxil. He is now on Paxil for the rest of his life. He's taking 20 mg as that stopped the rash.

I just recommend now that doctors can order DNA tests to see what antidepressant will work best for you. That way you can hopefully avoid the same problem he had, as well as having to try multiple medications until you find the one that works for you. I hope you have success finding relief for your depression. BTW, I take Citalopram which works for me.

Volunteer Mentor

@parus, there is. And hopefully it won't take you as long as it did me. I felt that I didn't have anyone who " got it." I had friends, and they seemed to like me well enough, but I couldn't bring myself to be myself to them. I think the thing that scared me the most was pouring my heart out to someone and having them act like it didn't matter. I've had that actually happen. Everyone who smiles with you and acts like they are your friend, isn't. The Bible says in Old English terms, "There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Of course, being the Bible, it is referring to God. Or Jesus. I am a Certified Pastoral Counselor, and as part of the faith community I run into people every day who come from all walks of life. It doesn't really matter what faith they have, I can find a connecting point with each one of them. Whether you are a believer or not, whether you question not just a higher powers ' existence but your very own…..people who believe that Someone, some force, some power out there in the Universe cares about them, well, they get along a whole lot better in this life. Research studies have been done, and if it wasn't so late at night I would look them up for you. My point is this: I care about you, and what happens to you. Because a long time ago, Someone bigger, Someone greater than me, cared for me. I won't preach at you or tell you to "get religion." I'm just one of those crazy folks who believe we are here on this planet to learn to love each other. Caring for one another is what this place, a place to Connect, is all about. Good night, and as some Native Americans say, may the Shepherd Chief Above guard your ways. Peace,


Sometimes there is not a "way out," but there can be a "way through." If you read the posts of others you will see that some have found the "way through." Keep looking for "your own way through."