Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 13, 2018

In reply to @mamacita "For @gingerw and all our companions on the Spectrum, a hearty welcome to the table this..." + (show)

@mamacita

For @gingerw and all our companions on the Spectrum, a hearty welcome to the table this cold, cloudy December morning. I may have another cup of coffee as I try to think about what I want to talk about this morning. So, take off your coat, pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. Recently we had a guest who shared so beautifully the story of his life on the Spectrum. He was tested and re-tested multiple times, with differing results, through the years. Various and sundry labels were placed on him as the educational and medical establishment sought to determine the root of his problems. Not unlike my own journey, except mine was spread over a period of 66 years, and continues to this day.

I am not a Clinical Psychologist. I am not a Psychiatrist. I am merely an inhabitant on this round ball of dirt, water, grass, and sky that we call Earth. I am not better than you, but I am not less than, either. And therein lies the rub. I have dabbled in human behavior for most of my life. I could throw information at you and give you statistics and quote form "experts" in the field. I could do that, yes. That would be a worthy task, and I just might find myself doing that at some later point in time. But you know what I really think is at the bottom of all these issues and labels and problems that we all have, Neurodivergent and Neurotypical alike? Acceptance. Being seen, being heard, and being loved by one's own tribe.

I have worked with children who had multiple diagnoses, Non-verbal, lost in their own world, and requiring 24/7 care. One particular child would "stim" by grasping her fists in front of her chest, then fling her long, slender arms out to the side as hard and fast as she could. Once she did that and she made contact with my eye. Oh, the pain of that! And the embarrassment! I should have known better than to be standing right there next to her within arm's length when she was stimming. My Principal insisted on taking me to an ER center where the Doctor pronounced that I'd lost fifty percent of my vision in that eye. He assured me that it was only temporary, and sure enough, I was fine within weeks. It never returned 100% but it was good enough.

So to make a long story short, I would say that we do not need to increase our anxiety levels by dwelling on the difficulties we encounter daily. I know now that I have a few glitches in my brain that make certain learning more difficult. Not impossible, but harder to accomplish. When I read for enjoyment, the words seem to dance around on the page. I have to go back and visualize who everyone is in the book, and keep a running list in my mind of "who is who." Yet, at the same time, I can tell you what episode of which television show was on when I hung the curtains yesterday. And exactly what we had for lunch Or where my coworker placed the paperwork that she said she never touched. Fortunately for me, there were video cameras in every classroom, in every part of the school where I worked. I just shrugged off her accusations, but another colleague would not let it go. Insisted that the tape be played back in front of the Principal. I was vilified.

Sure, we have issues that try to throw a wrench in the works. I never know what kind of mood I am going to be in when I wake up every morning. Depression and anxiety, as well as chronic pain know their way to my door all too well. So, I have learned to practice self care and gratitude. OCD is trying to teach me some things at the present. But that story is for another day. In this world of trying to be the perfect parent, the perfect spouse, the perfect friend, the perfect employee, can we just stop a second and think of how ridiculous a goal that actually is? How about we just sit back, take a break, and concentrate on being the best "you" that you can be? Because to look at all our faults and failings, to compare ourselves with ourselves, is worse than useless. It is dangerous. Be glad of who you are! Love yourself, and take time for yourself. Be the kindness to yourself that you so graciously give to others.

Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah or Happy Whatever you identify with! You are loved!

Jump to this post

@mamacita Good morning back to you, Mamacita. It is also a chilly morning here and I have had my morning cup of coffee. To think that I used to drink three pots of that a day and now only drink one cup is pretty insane. This time of year is an awkward time as an Autie; most people just don't understand. I don't do holidays very well, then you add in crowds and it becomes a very difficult situation. It's not that I don't enjoy being around one or two people but give me a roomful and it's crazy making, with all the noise in conversations. When I was a law enforcement dispatcher the fact that I could follow multiple conversations was a positive, but that's not a positive in the real world. My brain gets confused and overwhelmed. So I stay away from stores at this time of year if possible or go in the middle of the night if they are a in a 24-hour mode! I'd much rather dodge pallets then people. There is so much that can be said about how we as Auties handle our day-to-day lives and the accommodations that we have to make ourselves. For the most part being on the Spectrum is an invisible badge, and sometimes we will recognize others in our same boat, but not often as it is such a spectrum and the indications can be so many. I value your comments and your experiences and can relate to do so many.
Ginger

sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Dec 13, 2018

good afternoon gingerw its Friday afternoon here in Sydney and I do the same except I stay away totally from xmas seeing all my siblings have passed on and I will be working at westmead childrens hospital this xmas boxing day and news day

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 13, 2018

In reply to @sirgalahad "good afternoon gingerw its Friday afternoon here in Sydney and I do the same except I..." + (show)

What great activities you have planned, @sirgalahad!

Parus | @parus | Dec 14, 2018

@gingerw This sounds so familiar. The Holidays can be difficult. I find all of the music, lights and movement cause me to feel disoriented. Always glad to return to my woman’s cave. You have described so well how it feels.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 14, 2018

I, too, often relate to some of the autistic thoughts and feelings. I suppose all of us, to some degree, have some neurotypical as well as neurodivergent characteristics in our personalities. We are all wired differently by our backgrounds as well as our genetics and experiences. That is what makes Connect so great, we all learn from each other and in the process we become more accepting of ourselves and others.

justint95 | @justint95 | Dec 15, 2018

Hi everyone. Have you ever thought as a child you were bullied? I felt that I was bullied for quite some time back in elementary and middle school due to my speech and language issues. Even today, when I participate in my college classes discussions, I feel like my brain’s thinking is delayed when talking aloud to the class.

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 16, 2018

In reply to @justint95 "Hi everyone. Have you ever thought as a child you were bullied? I felt that I..." + (show)

@justint95 Oh, yes, being bullied in school was a normal thing.

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Dec 18, 2018

In reply to @justint95 "Hi everyone. Have you ever thought as a child you were bullied? I felt that I..." + (show)

As a child I was bullied by teachers as well as by classmates. Teachers took advantage of me and classmates made fun of me. @justin95 , I can only speak for myself, but there is a delay in processing for me. It definitely takes me longer to answer a question. I am painfully honest, and I cannot take a chance that I am giving inaccurate information.

Mamacita

sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Dec 18, 2018

bullied by myparents sisters school children in primary and high school and the police ignored it church ministers ignored so I knows the pain

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Dec 18, 2018

In reply to @sirgalahad "bullied by myparents sisters school children in primary and high school and the police ignored it..." + (show)

At least now, @sirgalahad, we have found a family and friend set of our own choosing. Anyone calls me out now, I say " You and what Army?" No, no, not really. I just smile and think about all the fine people who I have had the pleasure of meeting on here and the groups who support Autistics on social media. We have learned to share information, experiences, and our hearts. We have learned that it is not necessary to tromp on anyone's toes to make ourselves feel better. We feel better when we take better care of ourselves. We feel better when we reach out to help someone up.

Mamacita

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