~ What It's Like to Be Bipolar ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Mar 16, 2018

I just read the Quora article this month on "what it's like to be bipolar," and this individual is right on. Now mine is Bipolar 2, so it's not as bad as Bipolar 1, but the symptoms are still extremely similar. I can stay hidden in my home for weeks at a time, not answering the phone or the door, I don't cook or eat well, I've lived in this apartment for over a year and I still have not totally unpacked; an event may sound exciting and something I'd like to do, but when the time comes, I don't have any energy or will to do it ..... but, I go anyhow and "fake it." My kids don't get it (even though 2 of them are Social Workers), don't want to hear about it. I don't want sympathy from them ... heavens knows I can do that well enough myself .... but I would like a bit of understanding. This move has really done more damage to me than I ever thought possible. Sure, I'm closer to my girls, which may mean another "fake day," but my X also lives about 18 miles from here, and of course he's "The Man." He's busy, busy, busy, and I just want to stay in bed and hide......he' just "so very wonderful" Yea, right! I look back over our time together (40 years) and I realize even more clearly how much affirmation, care, and love I never got from him. I still go back to my home state every other week for therapy and meds. The therapy is rather like a security blanket now.
abby

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Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

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@amberpep Hi Abby:

Have you checked with NAMI? Here is their website, https://www.nami.org/Find-Support
DBSA has some online support groups: http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=peer_online_support_groups

I look forward to hearing from you.

Teresa

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

Thanks much ....
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

No luck. One has a waiting list, and the other is on the far side of my state.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

No luck. One has a waiting list, and the other is on the far side of my state.
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep

Hi Abby: I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. You might Google "support groups for bipolar" and add your city, state, and see if there are others in your area.

Teresa

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

CHANGE OF TOPIC: I didn't want to start another post, but this will probably be long .... I'm sorry. I just read the article in Quora about NVA, Narcissistic Victim Abuse, and I'm sitting here crying. Now, granted, I got up today at the bottom end of the Bipolar 2 scale, so I didn't start out well. When I read this, I saw myself so clearly that it almost made me want to run away to who knows where. This article is so right on that it hurts just to read it ..... it's like someone reading a story about my life with N. And, I realize that, even though I thought I'd grown passed all this, there is still a lot of pain remaining. The Bipolar 2 I deal with is mostly heavy on the depression. If I draw a straight horizontal line, and number it 1-5 in each direction, the "up" part never goes beyond a 1, maybe an occasional 2. But the down part (depression) hits 4 regularly, and today 5. My therapist told me on Tuesday when I saw him that he felt I should contact my Psychiatrist and talk to him about a slight, or not so slight, change in meds. He was concerned even though Tuesday I was doing pretty well ..... I guess he saw through it. After going to him for 15 + years, it's no wonder he knows me well.
I live in a low-income apt. now, and for some reason - unknown to me - my S.S. payment was reduced by almost $20 for 2018 .... so now I have JUST enough to pay my rent. Thank God for my son who sends me $700 each month, or I don't know what I'd do.
When we got divorced my lawyer said that after 40 years of marriage, staying home with 3 kids before I went back to work, I could "skin him alive." Well, I couldn't do that to anyone. But, as I've told you all before I inherited a lot of money from my Dad when he died, so I did not request life long alimony, or half his life insurance. My lawyer disagreed totally, but at the time it seemed only fair. Well, then came the "ponzi scheme" with my original F.A. and down the tubes I went......financially. I should not have done this, but in a panic time, I asked my X if he could help me out a bit - his response? "Absolutely not." So there he is, big house, traveling all over the world with 2 of our kids, new car, and in his new community he's "The Man."
I can't describe how I feel. I'm just adjusting to having moved and now I can hardly pay my rent.......my kids don't want to hear anything, and I don't try to tell them anything anymore, so I'm totally alone down here. I have not been able to find a church (Western Orthodox), and the "groups" in town are all things like "gardening club", crocheting club" ..... things like that......from what I understand, all very elderly and gossipy ladies.
Thanks for listening to this diatribe ..... I'm sorry to be such a drain.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep Hello Abby,

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a down day. It sounds as if the article you read really triggered some bad memories for you.

Can you list some things that you can do for yourself the rest of the day to help yourself feel better? It doesn't have to be anything big - perhaps a walk, visit with a neighbor, read something inspirational, listen to some music, visit the public library, etc. I love to look through card shops and read some of of the funny cards, they really give me a lift.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Teresa

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

I looked at the companion apartments, just for seniors, which are part of the complex I'm in. They have 1 and 2 bedroom apartments .... very small, but much lower rent. My rent now is low, but those are even lower. She said when she has a 1 bedroom available, she'll show it to me. I can't take one for a year as I have another year on the lease in this apartment. These are low income, as are the senior apartments. And I'm starting to only get my meds. for 30 days at a time rather than the 90 day supply I used to get. And I found out my neighbor's S.S. also went down $20 this year, just like mine. Neither of us understand why and trying to get through to them is almost impossible.
I'm beginning to see why elderly folks are "ready" when their time comes.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi ..... I just read the recent newsletter from Mayo that comes every 1-2 weeks. This one talked about Bipolar I and II. In the article they talked about getting into a Bipolar Group .... I would absoluvely LOVE to do that! My family doesn't seem to want to know, so I'd love to get into a group who was dealing with the same, or similar, situations.
My question is how do I find these groups where I live? or maybe even on-line?
Can anyone guide me in this? Thanks very much,
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep Hello Abby:

I am glad to hear about the companion apartments, just for seniors. That sounds like a very good option for you.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you again and I hope that the opportunity to move into a quieter complex is in the near future for you.

Teresa

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