Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Gary, Alumni Mentor | @gman007 | May 7, 2018

As liz223 said, I now know that my anxiety began as an early teen due to a poor self image. I don't think anyone who knew me would have ever guessed that was the case either then or as I got older. I put on a mask of superiority and arrogance which made me a less than wonderful person to be around - I think I made a lot of effort to make others feel what I felt inside - what a jackass. Getting chronically ill gave me lots of time for introspection and then my anxiety became depression because of the hurt that I was certain I had left in my wake. My family stuck with me and have been great support and I have made some pretty amazing strides in my head - no arrogance about that, just very grateful that I have learned that being vulnerable, compassionate, and empathetic is a far better way to go through life. I am impressed by everyone who opens up about their depression because it is not viewed in the same light as other diseases, but we all can help people understand that and we will have done just a bit to make it easier for the next folks who fall prey to this nasty condition!
Thanks for all your ideas and suggestions, Gary

Lisa Lucier | @lisalucier | May 7, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

@anniegk -- I am really sorry to hear this year has felt like hell, with no end in sight. I, too, hope answers can be found in some of these studies on anxiety and depression.

With you, @anniegk.

anniegk | @anniegk | May 7, 2018

In reply to @littleonefmohio "@seeker70 I can relate to your depression. I also had it since I was a kid..." + (show)

Iam on several medications. Mirtazapine, seroquel, buspirone and propanolol. The propanolol is for a irregular heartbeat that i have had since i was in my twenties. It has become worse the last couple of years. That in its self causes Anxiety.

Parus | @parus | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except..." + (show)

Anyone receiving "special" attention must have made large donations, hold a high place in society, have lawyers/politicians in the family and in today's medical climate one better be prepared to prepay or not see a doctor. Or maybe there are some doctors that still own their own practice and can make their own rules. Walk into to a doctor well-prepared the info does not even get past the nurse or even on the laptop. My chart is still a mess. Full of medications I do not even take/a diagnosis that is not mine...things do not get transcribed or incorrectly.
Only way most folks get respect is if there is something in it for the other person. Money talks in most circles. Doctors in private practice can pick and choose.
From the society I live in...the world where the only thing that is seen on the chart is depression.
The world I live in people are disposable and even those that do not have depression. Money is all that matters.

Jinny Y | @vllynn | May 8, 2018

Hi, I have found this thread helpful. This morning I read an article in the WSJ about genetics and discovering the best antidepressant. Here is a link to the article (or you can Google it to be safe -- I never recommend clicking on a hyperlink -- A Genetic Test Could Help Predict the Right Antidepressant For You): https://www.wsj.com/articles/which-anti-depressant-is-right-for-you-your-dna-can-shed-some-light-1525622524

Merry, Volunteer Mentor | @merpreb | May 8, 2018

In reply to @parus "I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except..." + (show)

I'm so sorry that your experiences have been so bad that your entire view of the medical profession is tainted. And I don't blame you one bit. It's difficult to swallow the fact that we have to watch out for ourselves but are stymied by miscommunications and inter company politics. We unfortunately have to take control, like ladybug said. I have records of everything, I take lists to the doctor and last lab reports or tests that they may not have gotten copies of. We have to demand that if we only get 15 minutes then we damn well better get the best care and that it is all up to date. I am hoping that you can seek help to get your records of everything and straighten out your files so that they are up-to-date. And please, not matter what society you live in, you have to take charge by demanding, because if you don't then it will stay the same.

donny67 | @donny67 | May 8, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

The Good news, My Dr. told me that there are some very good depression meds on the horizon. The bad news, they are about 1 1/2 to 2 years away. Hey, I'll take any hope I can get !

donny67 | @donny67 | May 8, 2018

In reply to @mamacita "I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit..." + (show)

Good to hear some good news ! " Keep The Balance ! "

donny67 | @donny67 | May 8, 2018

In reply to @nikki1234 "People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get..." + (show)

A friend of over 50 years who does not at all understand depression & anxiety tells me, just go for a walk, call someone, read a book and they just don't get it. Only if it were that simple ! ! ! People who don't understand can be very anoying !