Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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Keep on pushing. I had a neurologist years ago who told me to keep on searching and don't let any doctor tell you that you're a hypochondriac woman! He was right. After 2 years of sickness and going to many doctors I finally found the one who diagnosed me with Lyme Disease - pretty depressing.

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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Thank you. I've been pushing for years and nothing

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@gailb

I wish I could wave a magic wand to relieve your depression, fears and anxiety @parus @shoregal45 and @swanie. I wrote about what has worked for me, but I recognize that it may not work for you. Being on Citalopram also diminished my depression, panic and anxiety long enough for me to be ready to find and use ways to relieve most of my physical pain. I remember how I felt when I was mired in my fears and couldn't see or find a way out of them--it Was like being in a cage. Chronic pain increased my fears and depression. I'm holding out hope that something someone has written about here will be helpful for you. I'm sorry that you are having these problems in your lives.

Warm regards,
Gailb
Volunteer Mentor

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Thank you.

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@parus

@shoregal45 Anxiety is not pleasant. I mostly stay to myself as also have chronic pain which increases anxiety. I continue to try and find ways to deal with what I need to deal with on a daily basis. Some days are better than others. The two go together. I know what heightens them and do my best to avoid these things. Hard to believe I once worked with the public, raised kids, did commissioned art work...things change. Adaptation and acceptance can be an insurmountable obstacle. I no longer endeavor to understand. PTSD has created havoc in my life. I still brave the world when I can...usually when I know I need to because if I don't do things for myself I will end up in some state hospital crammed full of poison called medications.
Detailed list, smiling face, polite and not wanting any one to know the fear within.

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So sorry you're going through this.

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@gailb

I wish I could wave a magic wand to relieve your depression, fears and anxiety @parus @shoregal45 and @swanie. I wrote about what has worked for me, but I recognize that it may not work for you. Being on Citalopram also diminished my depression, panic and anxiety long enough for me to be ready to find and use ways to relieve most of my physical pain. I remember how I felt when I was mired in my fears and couldn't see or find a way out of them--it Was like being in a cage. Chronic pain increased my fears and depression. I'm holding out hope that something someone has written about here will be helpful for you. I'm sorry that you are having these problems in your lives.

Warm regards,
Gailb
Volunteer Mentor

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Thank you so much for sharing. My situation is compounded by having to find a new psychiatrist AND primary care (he retired which sent me over the moon!). Also, fear of seeing the orthopedist. I guess you could say I'm a hot mess at times, but I keep on truckin'.
Jane

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@parus

@shoregal45 Anxiety is not pleasant. I mostly stay to myself as also have chronic pain which increases anxiety. I continue to try and find ways to deal with what I need to deal with on a daily basis. Some days are better than others. The two go together. I know what heightens them and do my best to avoid these things. Hard to believe I once worked with the public, raised kids, did commissioned art work...things change. Adaptation and acceptance can be an insurmountable obstacle. I no longer endeavor to understand. PTSD has created havoc in my life. I still brave the world when I can...usually when I know I need to because if I don't do things for myself I will end up in some state hospital crammed full of poison called medications.
Detailed list, smiling face, polite and not wanting any one to know the fear within.

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Thank you

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@gailb

I wish I could wave a magic wand to relieve your depression, fears and anxiety @parus @shoregal45 and @swanie. I wrote about what has worked for me, but I recognize that it may not work for you. Being on Citalopram also diminished my depression, panic and anxiety long enough for me to be ready to find and use ways to relieve most of my physical pain. I remember how I felt when I was mired in my fears and couldn't see or find a way out of them--it Was like being in a cage. Chronic pain increased my fears and depression. I'm holding out hope that something someone has written about here will be helpful for you. I'm sorry that you are having these problems in your lives.

Warm regards,
Gailb
Volunteer Mentor

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Yes, sorry to hear of your suffering and praying it eases and soon and fully.

I like to read about my conditions and, if you do, too, here's an article on that very thing - Anxiety AND depression, and things you can do, from Psychology Today, like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and I suggest learning to control your thoughts to positive. Louise Hay, the late Author, said to say this affirmation over and over - "All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200310/anxiety-and-depression-together
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@lisalucier

Hello, @stressedmesseddepressed -- I wanted to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You and @jimhd both have a great idea about stretching and its relaxing properties.

I thought you might be interested in some information Mayo Clinic has written on stretching:

- http://mayocl.in/2mbjmDA (stretching essentials)

- http://mayocl.in/2CGZLmg (slide show with guide to stretches)

Is stretching something you practice regularly for your mental (and/or physical) health?

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Gail, you mentioned CBD oil. Is your prescription or OTC? I plan to talk to my ortho about this when I see him. My close friend's has breast cancer which metastasized to the bone and her latest tests show improvement!!!

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@lisalucier

Hello, @stressedmesseddepressed -- I wanted to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You and @jimhd both have a great idea about stretching and its relaxing properties.

I thought you might be interested in some information Mayo Clinic has written on stretching:

- http://mayocl.in/2mbjmDA (stretching essentials)

- http://mayocl.in/2CGZLmg (slide show with guide to stretches)

Is stretching something you practice regularly for your mental (and/or physical) health?

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This is considered the best / one of CBD oils. Can get for different conditions. Ask. (they have no THC)

https://www.greenroadsworld.com/
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@lisalucier

Hello, @stressedmesseddepressed -- I wanted to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You and @jimhd both have a great idea about stretching and its relaxing properties.

I thought you might be interested in some information Mayo Clinic has written on stretching:

- http://mayocl.in/2mbjmDA (stretching essentials)

- http://mayocl.in/2CGZLmg (slide show with guide to stretches)

Is stretching something you practice regularly for your mental (and/or physical) health?

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@shoregal45 My CBD is purchased on a medical marijuana prescription, which is general. I would think you can get it at any cannabis shop. I think the prescription just means you don't pay tax here in California.

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