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Bipolar adult son refuses any mental health treatment - help
Mental Health | Last Active: 5 hours ago | Replies (36)Comment receiving replies
@mercerspring thank you for sharing more of your story, I had missed your last post about your son moving out already when I first replied. I am so sorry. It is obvious that you love him and have done everything you can for him. It is so hard living with this cloud of mental illness, even when they are not living with us, it’s a constant worry. Even when the medication is working, my son is still not the same person he was 10 years ago. It is like there has been a lot of damage to him physically, emotionally, socially. He doesn’t take good care of himself anymore. He struggles now with relationships with others and has problems with money, spending all he has at times. Many times he refuses to listen to reason and it made life here at home very combative. He has lived on and off with our other two children and that was very hard on them. He is the oldest but they always felt like they had to take care of him, and was always difficult to live with. It’s weird because he was always so nice, smart and athletic, and conscientious growing up. An honor student. It’s heartbreaking to have seen the changes. Life is already so hard. I am sorry that you are dealing with this alone since your husband passed, that must be so hard on you. You are incredibly strong, and I really admire you for doing all that you have. I don’t think I could do it. I have even asked my husband please not to go first because I couldn’t do this without him. And I don’t blame parents that have had to let their adult kids with mental illness go, and become homeless because it is unbearable, and often they reach a point that there is nothing anyone can do. I pray every day now. For a long time I didn’t pray, as I was angry about the unfairness of all this. But praying now gives me an inkling of hope that things will get better. And that’s all we have. I pray that your son seeks treatment and comes home to be near you. I pray that you and I and others on this forum that are struggling and dealing with mental illness can find some peace.
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@bewildered
Such a beautiful outreach of caring for me and my son. I thank you. I am trying to push hard this time as the younger he seeks help it often proves to be more successful. No guarantees of anything to be sure. But always hope , always prayer. I am trying to be strong with all I have not just for my son, not just for me, not just for my other four children - for our family. That we may come together in strength. Two of my other children also are bipolar - but with medication and therapy they are thriving. What I am going through now is nothing like what I experienced with them. They let me pull them out of the well with my helping hand with gratitude whereas this son pulls with all his might to bring me into his well. Constantly needing saving - but never has a problem. (just ask him). He was hard on me as he took off this morning - once I said my expectations haven’t changed ( before that he wanted to go out for breakfast - expecting that I would “ come to my senses” ) - but I stayed strong ( perhaps even surprising myself ) … but I felt the strength of my family behind me and the strength of the amazing people on this Mayo site as well as the crisis team and NAMI. I have also sought much counseling since his last episode to simply be able to handle it as best as I can. Prepare for the worst - expect the best. Without my husband it is so much more difficult. I also have two siblings severely bipolar (although they didn’t show sever signs before I had children) and my other brother who recent passed dealt with profound autism. My parents had me at nearly 50 years of age - so I do not have that support network as well. But I do have a beautiful and caring sister - though she lives far (& has stage four cancer ) , and some dear friends- sprinkled around the United States . But the boots on the ground are solely in my hands ( or would that be my feet - boots and all ). I try to stay positive and go about my day. Although today is like a waiting game - knowing fireworks are lurking just outside my door. And when I get firmer I am unsure as to whether he could get agitated to aggression ( it’s not his nature - but he is unstable ). Keep me in your prayers. It’s going to be a rough afternoon/evening …. Depending on when he shows up.