@suppiskey2surv I know all too well the weight you are carrying. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and ease your burden, even if only for a day. It is not eloquence I have, its scars. But, I have to acknowledge that each scar left me better prepared to help the next. The villians in my story are diabetes, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, Glioblastoma, and Chrons disease. Each had an unnecessarily long painful passing. They taught me so much about the human body, our medical system, our society, and of course myself. I wish those lessons on no one.
Sorry, after the last I was so depleted, I retreated into avoidance and darkness for 2 years. So now I’m regaining my energy and seem to be all chatty blah blah blah.
My point is you are not alone. This is a great place to release our quiet fears, vent our rages, and ultimately our acceptance that some things are out of our control. Nothing can really prepare us for all of this. Take care of yourself (yeah, I know, eye roll). Let others in to help, they mean well and you need any rest you can get. Allow plenty of time for yourself to heal when you are no longer on 24/7 hyper alert. And I hate to admit that I found the cliche is true…. Whatever doesn’t kill you DOES make you stronger. Another eye roll. It also makes you more grateful, more empathetic, more fearless, and swifter to step in and raise your tempered steel, or your sheltering arms as need dictates. I wish you both love and peace.