I get it because I've been in your exhausted, anxious shoes. Benzos are to be prescribed for short term use only - and that means weeks, not months. Like you, I benefitted greatly and I was prescribed for 25 YEARS!!! Not a single MD told me about the side effects and shame on me for not researching it. It was such a relief to sleep and get through my days without feeling like an engine was running in my chest that I enjoyed the ride.

Using Klonopin long-term can lead to dependence. Over time, it will likely stop working requiring higher doses. Stopping suddenly can cause serious withdrawal symptoms and long-term use is linked to memory issues, slower thinking, emotional numbness, and an increased risk of depression and falls, especially in older adults. Some studies suggest a possible link to dementia. Because of these risks, doctors usually recommend short-term use which is why they aren't prescribing it (and I wish mine hadn't). It took me 18 months to slowly wean off of it. I miss the calming effects, but am grateful to be off - I found an MD who helped me safely withdraw. I also got ideas from an online support group called Benzo Buddies. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I hope you will consider the facts. Your PCP/psychiatrists are actually honoring "do no harm." Big hugs and best wishes to you.
https://benzobuddies.org/