What it is like to be on psychiatric medication (trigger warning)

Posted by dfb @dfb, 4 days ago

Silence
;

There is darkness all around me
I can see the light formed in a sliver high above me.
It is hard to be aware of anything except suffering.
My bones have all been shattered, all but my skull, leaving my brain intact.
I am exquisitely aware of the agony of all my senses.
I know I am dying.
I am losing all desire to continue; death remains elusive.
I know I am in an earthen pit; I do not know how deep.
I have tried to scale the walls with my broken body.
They crumble in my hands.
I can feel the bones of my ancestors underneath me extending in time to hell.
I cannot scream for help. My broken ribs have punctured my lungs.
The dirt begins to fall from the beast shoveling above me.
The pain is my reality.
My higher functions are shutting down, leaving primitive fear that cannot be reasoned with.
Please, please, please, please, please, shovel faster, bury me alive.
The dirt rains down on me, torrential rain in slow motion.
Faster, please.
The reptile at the base of my brain, terrified, continues to fight for life despite my pleas to let me die.
The following shovel lands on my face. My ruptured lungs struggle to breathe, drawing dirt into my mouth.
I can taste and smell the decay.
Please, God, let me die; please stop the horror.
Silence.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

dfb | @dfb | 3 days ago

In reply to @gregd1956 "Dear David @dfb My brain doesn’t work enough of reading, understanding, or talking back so your..." + (show)

Greg,

The right medication’s can save lives.

I want to be 100% clear there are appropriate uses for medication.

What has become a problem as doctors being too busy and simply prescribing medication’s which then caused the patient to present as more ill requiring more medication.

This is a systemic problem because of the self organizing nature of medicine and the insurance industry to generate a profit.

The right doctor can make all the difference in the world they’re so busy however we need to help them and do our own homework. That’s been my experience.

As for those in the psychiatric perfection, they have been misled by the DSM the pharmaceutical industry, and they are causing enormous suffering and death.

That doesn’t mean anyone should ignore their doctor.

One should engage with their doctor do homework and ask the questions and insist they treat you properly as a human being.

Not a problem to be solved.

When they can’t solve a problem, they triage patients into those, just keep comfortable into those who might get better, psychiatric medication blunt cognition, to such extent that is very difficult for us, the patient, even stand up for ourselves.

It’s very wonderful to get your messages. Thank you.

May you live in peace and good health

milly54 | @milly54 | 2 days ago

In reply to @dfb "Thank you for your concern. As always, the members of this border of terrifically supportive, but..." + (show)

The reality of these pharmaceutical drugs for people with real psychiatric disorders is that they’re life saving. They saved my own life and I’m forever grateful I’m still here with my own kids and family. I don’t appreciate people saying these drugs are “the problem” because that contributes to the stigma of the mentally ill not seeking help. The majority of people need these drugs to function. Just because these drugs weren’t right for you doesn’t mean they’re wrong for everyone, and you should be more responsible with such statements on a public platform.

dfb | @dfb | 2 days ago

You are correct for any of the right psychiatric medication’s or godsend for those who are misdiagnosed they’re a nightmare

I am very happy you found relief in your family found relief. I wish you peace and good health all the days of your life.

Thank you

dfb | @dfb | 1 day ago

I want to clarify any misconceptions that may have resulted from my post.

I am not, repeat, not suggesting anyone discontinue their medication’s,

Doing so is incredibly dangerous and almost killed me.

I am advocating that one help their doctors by taking responsibility for researching and understanding one’s conditions, and addressing those issues forthrightly with one’s physicians.

If you’re stable and your medication’s are working for you, I celebrate that.

If you’re struggling, my suggestion is consider metabolic issues as a primary concern.

Healthful food, sleep, exercise, and loving connection is what has healed me.

Much of it from this site.

May everyone live in peace and good health all the days of their lives.

Thank you!