Celebrating the holidays differently. What gift can you give yourself?

@cindiwass I never thought I would live to be 73, my current age. My father passed away when he was 64, my mother when she was 67. They were 50 and 40 when I was born so I was still in HS when my father died and in my 20s when my mother did. Since this was typical for her whole family I just figured I too would die when I was in my 60s. Surprise, surprise, I'm still here, as is my sister who is 3 years older than I am. My brothers are both gone but they made it into their 70s too.

@becsbuddy Thanks, Becky. These sound delicious. I have a recipe for coconut snowballs that is good too, using white chocolate. We had a caterer once for a large event here and that one of the desserts he brought. I loved them so he gave me the recipe, but these sound even easier!

@fiesty76 Thank you for your condolences.
I also believe that we have to remember to treat each person well, we don't know what they are going through or have been through that day.
I was walking up the aisle in a drugstore once and a man who passed me said "you could at least smile" - this was out of the blue. I didn't know him, he was a well-dressed man, but who was he to say that to me? He had no idea why I might not have looked happy.

@Erinmfs California is a beautiful state but it sure does have its drawbacks. My son lived there from 2004 until 2018 and now lives in Denver. For him, it was the high cost of owning property but I think he is happy being in Denver, fewer natural disasters there, plus he is an avid skier, and his wife is an avid snowboarder.

@merpreb @nannette1941 I think these days many of us are in a funk, on some days. I sure know I am. I think we can take anything for a certain amount of time but this has gone on for way too long. I actually predicted at the very beginning that it would last for a very long time, and wondered if I would ever see my son in Denver again since seeing him requires a flight and I do not want him taking the risk of flying here. We will see how the vaccine helps but so many are not planning to take it that we will never reach "community immunity" and for us who are on immunosuppressants that's a problem since even if/when our transplant teams say yes to us taking it, it will be less effective on us. I have read it will be about 60% effective so I suspect I will be wearing a mask for the remainder of my life.

When I find myself in a funk though about staying home and going literally nowhere except for isolated walks, I try to remind myself of what people over the years have endured. I have read a number of books about the Jewish experience during WW2 and how horrible that must have been. That helps me to realize that I live in a nice home, we have plenty of food to eat, and so far my husband and I are both doing OK, healthwise.
JK

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One of the gifts I gave myself last year, and am continuing now, is the right to sit or lie down when my body tells me to. I have decided not to try to be superwoman any more.

I'm retired, my kids are raised, and what needs doing can (usually) wait or tomorrow. If I need time off, I take it. My health is doing much better since I stopped pushing so hard. I always remember my Dad, in his retirement, saying the workday ends at 3pm except in an emergency, and I try very hard to be done by 4pm most days.

My daughters tend to be hard-driving as well - until they collapse and get ill, angry, depressed, - hmm, wonder where they learned to do that? So now, whenever I can, I take "little loads" from them - a little load of laundry, a delivered meal or two, a few hours watching kids, running a few errands. Both of them are very appreciative. And I have begun to talk more about not trying to do it all and how taking care of themselves is a gift to everyone.

This past week we have been helping our daughter with a (very) unplanned move. She wanted to accomplish everything by Friday, with only Dad's and my help due to Covid fears. We were able to help out with a longer term truck rental, and will now finish on Tuesday or Wednesday - and none of us has gotten totally worn out, sick or injured by trying to do it all at once.

Sue

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Surely the biggest gift you can give yourself is within yourself? Take time-out to reflect on your own positivities, your own gifts from life, your specific family and friends, your decisions made and what you have learned from them. What have you learned about yourself? What do your friends see in you? What made happy times be happy times. We can each draw from these. What will our grandchildren say about your qualities? Why not start your family time capsule with, and for, them? Do not dwell within yourself but take a time-out visit there now and then. Do not wall in the echoes of yesterday but do listen to them. Having lost my wondrous wife I found that life still moves on. She moved through life with a forcefield of grace and compassion. I still gain learn from my reflections as reflection upon those beyond our self still live within our self. We may feel we move through life in single file but, in reality, we can draw from ourselves and those who have love and friendship for us on that journey.

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Hi @jk. Very touching. I never imagined I'd live this long. My uncle was a doctor but he smoked, had stress, and died youngish of a heart attack. My mother always served nutritious meals. I try to eat well but push the barrier sometimes. I am overweight, lost about 30 lbs and need to keep going but it's hard. Still I try and keep praying for help to control myself. Not easy. As far as the man who told you that you could smile, I'm thinking maybe he liked your looks. Or... maybe he was nuts.

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Hi Merry! over the holidays, I found my way to your blog! I'm so very impressed, you've inspired me to do something similar. I've been trying to figure out what to call it. That plus it made me think back to my time that I've spent on the West coast. Why oh Why did I move from there to here? earthquakes and fires! I loved a conference that we had in Boston one time, I was a Legal Seafood fan back then, we travelled to Maine and we had lobsters from Maine! Boy, those folks from Maine are interesting, they didn't say much back then, and those Maine'rs had a reputation for that 🙂

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Are you ready to begin 2022? Did you have a great Holliday season? What was your favorite gift? A special pillow to help you sleep? New softer shoes for your morning walk? Have you thought about your current quality of life? What would make it better, easier, happier?

One of the things we learn to do in Mindfulness is to reward ourselves for our kindness and generosity to others. It is now time to reward yourself. Don’t put it off because you don’t want to be a bother or appear to be selfish.

Last year we had wonderfully creative responses to our “Quality of Life” gifts for ourselves and sometimes each other since we do share a lot of experiences. I went crazy and committed to a number of personal gifts. Here I go…..tellling you what they were and how I got them. Up front, I will let you know that this experience took the entire year 2021 and made me think twice about overdoing it in 2022.

Here we go……
1. I gifted myself with a second weekly session of MFR during which I have two MFR therapists. As a result I am pretty “steady as you go” and suffer less from SFN pain and fatigue.
2. I consulted a physician about my cranky hip thinking I might be able to have it replaced. Surprise, surprise……the X-ray showed is was just a bursa and cortisone injections should keep it under control.
3. 10 years ago I had my first TKR and it has been perfectly supportive of my need to walk and do yoga. Within the last two years, my other knee began to beg for help. Knowing how long the recovery might be, I started last spring with a goal of doing whatever it might take to be able to use that knee. I was no longer going to need an injection and a string of wheel chairs to fly to Texas and visit the grandchildren. Once again I was impressed with the technological advances available for a TKR. I chose a great young surgeon who was well trained in robotic surgery. It wasn’t all so simple but remember that @johnbishop had told me that regardless of whatever else you do……..be sure and do both pre and post surgery exercises. Right there…..my quality of life jumped several categories of strength and stamina. Today…..four months later…..I rarely even think about my knee.
4. What I have been stewing about is the thumb surgery I had on Dec 9th. With a tendon from my arm transferred to the joint in my thumb……I found this surgery to be challenging. At least I got it done and completed my “Quality of Life” gifts to myself for 2021…..just in time for 2022 to rear its demanding head.

I do want to share that developing the list and taking care of the issues has not been easy. Recovery from orthopedic surgery can be quite tedious. So for 2022 I am tackling two very different health incentives. I want to be able to hear the dialogue in movies without blasting the neighbors. So I will be starting the learning process right here on Connect for hearing assistance. It would also be great to stay on course with my eye issues, dry eye plus some beginning macular degeneration.

It's your turn. Give it some thought. My big gift to myself this year is to bring my grandchildren and daughter to Adam's Landing for my 80th birthday. They all got air ticket certificates for Christmas..

Now it is your turn.........time to let us know what you are choosing to enhance your quality of life in 2022.

May you be free, protected and safe from inner and outer harm.
Chris

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I am just taking a deep breath and being so thankful to have come through the past two years more or less intact, and hopefully a bit wiser and more compassionate.

My first, life-enhancing gift to myself is to continue learning. I have long worked with fabric & fibers, and dabbled in other media, thinking I would love to paint. My efforts in 2020-2021 have shown me that while I may master the technical aspects of color, composition, and brushwork, the artistic - drawing - is out of reach. So I have returned to my love of fiber, and begun to work with wool & other fiber felting. I am beyond delighted so far, and have begun a careful collection of fibers and tools, and begun on-line and in-person classes. So look forward to pictures of my efforts at making "things", and at fiber "painting"

My second gift - to self and husband - is to celebrate our 50th anniversary with as big a "splash" as we can manage. When we met and married, we were poor students, so our entire wedding, including our clothing and reception, cost our 2 families less than $400. This year, we will celebrate twice, once on the day with my brother, sister-in-law, and close friends, at out favorite restaurant in northern Mexico. Come summer we will be having a larger outdoor celebration at home - my daughter & her friend are already planning it! If Covid permits, we will cap it off with a twice-delayed trip to Europe in the Fall.

My third gift - to self, family and friends - is to work harder to see each person as a whole and unique being, and cherish them for it. That will mean letting go of some expectations, and embracing some more challenging parts of myself and others.

Blessings to all of you.
Sue

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