How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@cldmeyers

I am bothered by the fact that my children and new friends have no idea what I was like 20 years ago, and feel I'm not representing myself in the best way. Does that seem shallow?

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@cldmeyers- I couldn't wait to respond to your question. All I can say is what? What? What do they mean by this? What does representing yourself mean? Do they think that you are a fake?

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@cldmeyers

Yes Scott, we have to accept it. If we don't, it will remind us. I took a diminishing curb wrong last December while at the same time dealing with patellofemoral syndrome. Now it's nearly August and I still have a thumb that goes out of joint and plantar faciitis. Possible misspellings here. My mind is ready for anything, but my body says, "you've got to be kidding me." Acceptance has been a new word for me.

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@cldmeyers- Does screaming and yelling down the road mean that I accept aging? lol. I don't think that I accept it. I tolerate it and go on with living. I fight it every way I can though.
Does anyone else?

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I can't remember what I might have said, but I am an actor, and on bad days I try to have my "game face" on.

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@cldmeyers

I can't remember what I might have said, but I am an actor, and on bad days I try to have my "game face" on.

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@cldmeyers- Since their response to you bothered you would a sit down help?

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@merpreb

@cldmeyers- Does screaming and yelling down the road mean that I accept aging? lol. I don't think that I accept it. I tolerate it and go on with living. I fight it every way I can though.
Does anyone else?

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Yelling n screaming sounds good to me. Then acceptance and a little denial. 🙂

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@merpreb

@cldmeyers- Does screaming and yelling down the road mean that I accept aging? lol. I don't think that I accept it. I tolerate it and go on with living. I fight it every way I can though.
Does anyone else?

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@merpreb I certainly like your acceptance of aging—screaming and yelling . That’s me. I just can’t believe I’m the age I am. My mother once said, “I may be 80/90 on the outside, but I’m still 20 on the inside!” That’s so true except when I forget things or can’t do something. I just hate that my brain seems to be catching up to my body!

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@cldmeyers

I can't remember what I might have said, but I am an actor, and on bad days I try to have my "game face" on.

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@cldmeyers At my age I put my game face on with family and friends sometimes I hate to complain all the time even though I,m hurting

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@lioness

@cldmeyers At my age I put my game face on with family and friends sometimes I hate to complain all the time even though I,m hurting

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I totally agree.

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Totally agree with what or which? 🙂

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