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How do you accept change as you age?
Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!
One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.
Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.
I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!
I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!
So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.
While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.
As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?
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@bill54321, Interesting to hear more about you and your wife. Thank you for your service! One of 9 siblings, a twin and overcoming dyslexia, graduating from such a prestigious Stanford and then the horrors of combat make you not only a survivor but also a man who who has learned well how to value and appreciate life. As for using the walker, my idea is whatever helps us get where we want to go is the tool to use. I have hearing aids but rarely wear them unless out with others. Keep the tv loud but kitty, Precious, always has the option to go to a quieter room, yes? Smiles
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1 Reaction@fiesty76 Somedays are better then others I did to much today I tell myself each time I overdue ,wish I d listen to myself lol
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1 Reaction@lioness, Yes, Linda, some days are better and more productive than others. Yesterday I worked longer than usual in the backyard and felt such a sense of satisfaction at day's end. Today this slug is hardly moving. Not from physical pain or effort but lack of initiative. Just doing the basics seems all I can manage some days.
@fiesty76 Sounds like me aI overdid at shopping now can't hardly move today Consolation tomorrow is a new day pace yourself I'm a good one to talk
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1 Reaction@lioness, Smiling, too true. Like "do as I say, not as I do"?
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1 Reaction@gayle1, Hi, Gayle, I noticed you liked an earlier post so checked your profile. I'm glad to be meeting you here for the first time. It sounds as though you have truly been through the wringer with medical issues. I am so sorry you have born the results of the opiods that are changing so many lives in harmful ways. You mentioned in your profile that you are bedridden now. Are you able to use your hands to read, change tv channels, or do any crafts, work puzzles? While differing health issues brought us to this wonderful Connect group, have you found as I have that regardless of the specific malady, participants are all so supportive and interesting to get to know a little better? I first joined the Kidney/Bladder group when first diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD) nearly a year ago. Starting the Covid-19 forums has been a wonderful addition to the health specific groups. Do you participate in the Just Want to Talk, Visuals, or other interest groups? Again, thank you for reading and liking my post.
Yes Scott, we have to accept it. If we don't, it will remind us. I took a diminishing curb wrong last December while at the same time dealing with patellofemoral syndrome. Now it's nearly August and I still have a thumb that goes out of joint and plantar faciitis. Possible misspellings here. My mind is ready for anything, but my body says, "you've got to be kidding me." Acceptance has been a new word for me.
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4 ReactionsYes Scot, aging is a learning experience like none other. I can do most things, just not as fast. Rest has become a very important experience for me. Things take more time but are most enjoyable when I take more frequent rest periods. Of course there are things I can no longer do like running and playing basketball. Yet life is good, giving thanks for what I can do helps not to be depressed over what I cannot. Thankfulness is a great blessing.😊
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3 ReactionsIt's from any how one's body reminds us how it's changing and we need to pay attention so one can enjoy future adventures.
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1 ReactionI am bothered by the fact that my children and new friends have no idea what I was like 20 years ago, and feel I'm not representing myself in the best way. Does that seem shallow?
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