Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....

Posted by ellerbracke @ellerbracke, Aug 31, 2019

I know I am very guilty of classifying people in general, and regarding weight in particular. Living in the bible/heart attack/ diabetes belt, it simply blows my mind how many obese people I see every single day when out and about. Granted, fewer of those at Dillard’s than Walmart. Still, in addition to being concerned, I am also judging those people. I know I should not, but how in the world can someone get that fat? It would take years of dedicated overeating to reach that. No, I really don’t think that all of them have a medical issue, seeing what’s in their grocery carts. Someone help me get a less judgmental attitude when I’ve been semi-denying myself all those chips and cookies and fries for decades?? I live and eat well, but treats should be treats, not daily food.

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@contentandwell

@ellerbracke If you think Godiva is good, try Burdick’s. It’s in a small NH town but they now have shops in NYC, Boston, and Harvard square in Cambridge. They were named as the best chocolate in the country one year by Consumers Reports, and they are decadent, but of course pricey. I’ve been in the Harvard square shop and had hot chocolate. It was an ecstatic experience! They make each cup to order, dark chocolate, milk chocolate or white chocolate. Their fame started with their chocolate mice.
https://www.burdickchocolate.com/
JK

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@contentandwell
JK, you know your killing me here don’t you. White chocolate hot chocolate delish!!! Guess I’m gonna have to order more candy. Somebody’s goal here is to get me fat.
Jake

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@ethanmcconkey

@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

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@ethanmcconkey

Thanks for your post, Ethan. Doing a turn-a-round when I feel bias is not an easy task. After I recognize the bias (it usually is accompanied with a churning in the stomach, etc.) I think of that person's situation in life and consider that they may appear the way they do because of unresolved emotional conflicts which have caused them to put on weight, drink, smoke, use drugs, etc. I remember what a radio psychologist said a long time ago, "There is a reason for all behavior." That is so true. If your behavior is exemplary or out-of-tune with what is healthy, there is a reason. Facing that reason can be a very difficult task.

Any other thoughts from the others in this discussion.

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@parus

@imallears I like extra dark chocolate and find it sweet. I like making chocolate, chia pudding. Sometimes I even make it with all natural peanut butter. Tastes like a reeses cup and no sugar added!!!

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@parus
Oh yum Ihave all the ingredients. Is that the one with maple syrup?

FL Mary

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@ethanmcconkey

@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

Jump to this post

@ethanmcconkey
That’s a provocative question. If I do encounter bias in myself, which doesn’t happen too often, Im happy to say, I usually know the reason. That reason is I have fallen into the stereotype trap. However, if you think about or examine the reason for that stereotype you’ll often find that some of that judgement is legitimate. Don’t know if Im explaining that coherently but bias is not always a clearly defined attitude. Also I doubt there is one unbiased person on this planet. The important thing is that you recognize it and try not to act on it. You may never rid yourself of it but there’s no need to be vocal about it either.

As you age and learn and experience I think you get rid of a lot of preconceived notions and attitudes...a sort of mellowing. Although I encounter too many elderly who haven’t changed one bit over the years. I also think my adult grandchildren’s Generation is more open and honest, loving and forgiving.

My thoughts on this really hot FL day...so hot I decided to return home to my AC. Wishing it were snowing here.

FL Mary

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@jakedduck1

@contentandwell
JK, you know your killing me here don’t you. White chocolate hot chocolate delish!!! Guess I’m gonna have to order more candy. Somebody’s goal here is to get me fat.
Jake

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@jakedduck1 Dark chocolate, if you eat the ones that are more than 72% cocoa, are not too fattening and are actually good for your heart and your brain! That's my excuse. By now I must be a real Albert Einstein.
JK

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@contentandwell

@jakedduck1 Dark chocolate, if you eat the ones that are more than 72% cocoa, are not too fattening and are actually good for your heart and your brain! That's my excuse. By now I must be a real Albert Einstein.
JK

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@contentandwell
Hahaha if that’s the case I need a truck load.
Jake

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@hopeful33250

@ethanmcconkey

Thanks for your post, Ethan. Doing a turn-a-round when I feel bias is not an easy task. After I recognize the bias (it usually is accompanied with a churning in the stomach, etc.) I think of that person's situation in life and consider that they may appear the way they do because of unresolved emotional conflicts which have caused them to put on weight, drink, smoke, use drugs, etc. I remember what a radio psychologist said a long time ago, "There is a reason for all behavior." That is so true. If your behavior is exemplary or out-of-tune with what is healthy, there is a reason. Facing that reason can be a very difficult task.

Any other thoughts from the others in this discussion.

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@hopeful33250 I live in NH but am from MA. There are a lot of very biased/bigoted people up here. It's so different from the Boston area I find.
A few years ago my daughter was dating a very successful, well-educated, well-dressed young man from the Dominican Republic. She brought him to a wedding that she was a bridesmaid in. Someone came up to him and asked him if he was the chauffeur, presumably because his skin was darker. My daughter was really upset by that. I tried to tell her they probably thought that because he was just about the best dressed guy at the wedding but she wasn't buying it. Her husband is of Indian heritage and she sees prejudice against him also, particularly in the last few years -- people seem to feel more open to expressing their feelings on the street. Since about half of her "tribe" are non-Caucasian she sees a lot of prejudice these days.
JK

REPLY
@ethanmcconkey

@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

Jump to this post

@ethanmcconkey I do notice that I am biased at times, especially in crowded places where all sorts of people are. Then I kick myself and remind myself I’m not perfect either! As my dad said, it takes all kinds to make this world. Most people are in situations beyond their control. The problem with weight is mostly the high cost of fresh fruit and veggies and the lack of good grocery stores in lower income areas. Known as ‘food deserts.’ Also, food is a sign of love in many cultures. I encountered so many people trying to feed a dying loved one. They just couldn’t understand that food could do more harm than good.
A good example is when we had lunch with a former graduate student that we had sponsored. He is from India, has a masters degree, and now a good job. He mentioned that he would be ok with his parents setting up an arranged marriage. I just couldn’t believe it! Later, my husband and I watched a good movie about Indian arranged marriages in the US. It is such a strong part of the culture and made sense, so there went my bias! Good question, Ethan

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@contentandwell

@jakedduck1 Dark chocolate, if you eat the ones that are more than 72% cocoa, are not too fattening and are actually good for your heart and your brain! That's my excuse. By now I must be a real Albert Einstein.
JK

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@contentandwell I love the 72% dk chocolate from Trader Joe,s I'm going to try the recipie @Parus wrote about

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@contentandwell

@hopeful33250 I live in NH but am from MA. There are a lot of very biased/bigoted people up here. It's so different from the Boston area I find.
A few years ago my daughter was dating a very successful, well-educated, well-dressed young man from the Dominican Republic. She brought him to a wedding that she was a bridesmaid in. Someone came up to him and asked him if he was the chauffeur, presumably because his skin was darker. My daughter was really upset by that. I tried to tell her they probably thought that because he was just about the best dressed guy at the wedding but she wasn't buying it. Her husband is of Indian heritage and she sees prejudice against him also, particularly in the last few years -- people seem to feel more open to expressing their feelings on the street. Since about half of her "tribe" are non-Caucasian she sees a lot of prejudice these days.
JK

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@contentandwell I have seen the more conservative in the Northeast and now the Liberal in Calif. But a lot of eastern folks have migrated to here . My daughter in law is of India hertitage and is Muslim so everytime like 911 the Muslim community there houses are egged. Her parents place was everytime . So I think prejudice is all over and different in the areas of the country . Down South it is a different prejudice .

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