Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues

Posted by mandrake70 @mandrake70, Aug 30, 2019

Hi everyone,
I've had depression for the past 30 years or so and was on some heavy medications, tried ECT, etc. Nothing worked. I ended up trying the Ketamine Infusions and they worked for getting rid of my depression. I'm still dealing with anxiety and some really bad memory issues. I can't remember a lot of things that happened in the past and I am having trouble with remembering new things. Sometimes I am OK with making new memories, other times I can't recall a damn thing. My doctor is telling me that it's the anxiety and the insomnia that is causing the problem with my memory. Before the Ketamine treatments, it was depression and anxiety that were causing my memory problems.
I'm scared that it's the medication I was on for so long or the ECTs I underwent at the suggestions of my old doctor. She had me over medicated so I wonder if that could be some of the problems too. I have this fear that it is early onset dementia.
I'm also dealing with being separated from my wife and daughter right now. My wife pretty much gave up on me due to the depression and asked me to move out two months ago. Now that it is gone, she is angry about my memory issues and wants me to come up with a plan to fix everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. I tried sitting down with her last night with a pen and paper so I could get a list of things she felt needed to be fixed and she wouldn't go over it again with me. I am pretty sure we are done at this point which is adding a lot of stress to my life. She has some issues too but doesn't believe she does so they have gone untreated. Her issues have caused a huge rift in the family over the years and made my depression worse. I have always been a fixer so I keep trying to fix the marriage. I think at this point, it might be better if I stop trying.
My daughter asked me to take her to a therapist last night because of what she is going through right now and how she is feeling. I will be calling her doctor and getting that set up today. Something else for me to worry about right now and I am really scared for her.

Thanks for 'listening.'

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@mandrake70

@njp1013 @contentandwell My daughter is doing OK. She is still not walking well but I think she is doing better. She's been getting frustrated with her mother since she keeps having to repeat herself. My wife doesn't seem to be listening well. At my daughter's therapy session last night my daughter had to tell her mother things several times. I'm trying not to put my daughter in the middle of the problems my wife and I are having but I know that she has defended me to her mother several times now.
The counseling went as expected yesterday. The counselor asked about how things have been for me and told him about the depression, my father's death, the problems my wife has with my mother, and all the other issues that have come up. He was pretty shocked that my wife wanted to talk to my daughter's therapist alone and told her that isn't how things are supposed to work. I don't know if she heard him or not. He offered us a 90 schedule to try to work things out but my wife isn't interested. She says I hurt her a week ago when I couldn't think of anything good from our marriage besides our daughters. I probably did but she doesn't understand that with everything that has happened, she has hurt me so many times I can't count. She said she would think about it but I don't expect anything.
I'm tired today. I slept OK last night but just don't feel rested. I have a new prescription to try tonight so we will see how that goes. I'm getting to the point where I am willing to try anything to just not be exhausted.

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Hi, @mandrake70 - how are you doing? How are things going with your wife and your daughter?

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@lisalucier My doctor has me on Remelteon for sleep. It hasn't worked for the last few nights but he wants me to stay on it since it may take time to kick in. I'm hoping it does soon since I am exhausted now. It's been two months or so that I have had problems sleeping. Last night I got six hours which is the best I have had in a while so maybe it is helping some now. The depression and anxiety are fine now. I seem to be doing better in that area.
My daughter is doing OK. Her foot is still bothering her but she wants to go back to soccer this week. She has a game on Friday that she wants to play in. I will probably end up getting her in to see the orthopedic next week to see what he says. Her therapist is good and has a treatment plan setup for her for the next three months. I think it looks good and she seems happy with it. My daughter and I spent Sunday night playing a Sherlock Holmes computer game together. We had a lot of fun.
My wife told me she isn't comfortable having me in the house and then a few minutes later asks me to fix something for her. I got a list of things that are broken that she needs help with. She did offer me dinner last night before my daughter's therapist appointment. She didn't sit with me while I ate but it was still nice that she offered. First time in months.

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@mandrake70 thats great that your anxiety and depression have eased. that is huge.

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@mandrake70

@lisalucier My doctor has me on Remelteon for sleep. It hasn't worked for the last few nights but he wants me to stay on it since it may take time to kick in. I'm hoping it does soon since I am exhausted now. It's been two months or so that I have had problems sleeping. Last night I got six hours which is the best I have had in a while so maybe it is helping some now. The depression and anxiety are fine now. I seem to be doing better in that area.
My daughter is doing OK. Her foot is still bothering her but she wants to go back to soccer this week. She has a game on Friday that she wants to play in. I will probably end up getting her in to see the orthopedic next week to see what he says. Her therapist is good and has a treatment plan setup for her for the next three months. I think it looks good and she seems happy with it. My daughter and I spent Sunday night playing a Sherlock Holmes computer game together. We had a lot of fun.
My wife told me she isn't comfortable having me in the house and then a few minutes later asks me to fix something for her. I got a list of things that are broken that she needs help with. She did offer me dinner last night before my daughter's therapist appointment. She didn't sit with me while I ate but it was still nice that she offered. First time in months.

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@mandrake70 That's good that your anxiety is improving, and six hours of sleep is better than it was. Hopefully in time with the new sleep aid it will improve even more.
I'm glad to hear your daughter is doing better. At that age, they are so eager to get back to their sports that it's hard to hold them down. Hopefully if the doctor does not feel it would be good for her to resume yet she will be OK with that. It sounds as if things are looking up overall.
Your wife wants the good, as in your help, but not the rest of it. I hope that counseling will help the two of you figure the next step, whether it be to try to work things out, or to choose to go your separate ways, whichever will be the best for both of you.
Keep in touch. I hope things continue to improve.
JK

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Many of you have talked about challenges you've faces with stress, anxiety, insomnia or some combination thereof. Wondering if you'd share an update, as I think it will benefit all the members in this discussion.

@sundance - how is your sleep lately?

@tinydr - how are you doing? Which symptoms were you having that led the doctor to eventually diagnose you with a thyroid problem?

@diannelk - how are things with you?

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Thanks Lisa, I can’t complain. Have been managing with the same sleep regime for several months, or years perhaps? I get better sleep now that I’m finally off night shifts after 40 years. Also have my disabled daughter living at home, and sometimes care for granddaughter. I have much for which to be grateful this Canadian Thanksgiving. Blessings on you, Dianne

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@diannelk

Thanks Lisa, I can’t complain. Have been managing with the same sleep regime for several months, or years perhaps? I get better sleep now that I’m finally off night shifts after 40 years. Also have my disabled daughter living at home, and sometimes care for granddaughter. I have much for which to be grateful this Canadian Thanksgiving. Blessings on you, Dianne

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Hi, @diannelk - just wanted to check in with you and see if you have experienced any stress or anxiety issues with caring for your disabled daughter you mentioned lives at home with you?

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Thanks Lisa, probably underneath but nothing that really pops out in my mind. I do wonder what will happen when I die, and pray that I will have found good living accommodations for her before that time comes. We live alone and I wouldn’t want her to experience the added trauma. I guess there’s always that concern, but as far as I know now I am fairly healthy at this point. I am her legal Guardian, for developmental disabilities.

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@mandrake70 It's been a period of time since we saw your name on a post. I wanted to check in with you and ask how you are doing these days?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@mandrake70 It's been a period of time since we saw your name on a post. I wanted to check in with you and ask how you are doing these days?
Ginger

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Hi @gingerw, Yeah, my wife had asked me to move back in, repeatedly, and I finally relented around Thanksgiving. The depression is so much better with the ketamine infusions, which I do every three months now. So the marriage was going well again for several months. We did things each of us liked. And then it started going back to the way it was before. I would suggest something other than a walk or hike, she would say no and go in to watch TV. I would join her for a few shows but really wasn't into trying to figure out what was going on in a series that she had started on her own or that she had watched several shows while I wasn't there. Our daughter would suggest something other than a hike or a walk and get the same results. This went on for several months until I stopped suggesting hikes or walks. We essentially stopped doing things together. Our daughter and I would spend time together, work on homework, do projects, go to karate, and play games. My wife came in about a month and a half ago and said she was moving out, the marriage wasn't working. I said OK. Several fights later, more gaslighting of both me and our daughter, lying that she was going to do something for our daughter, and now we are finally working on the divorce. We are trying mediation but on the first session she accused me of hiding a pension for the last 17 years. I had to reach out to my HR department to find out how to show that I don't actually have a pension and I have been paying into a 403(b), which she has seen and knows the current value. There are a lot of other issues that have come to light in the past month as well. Except for the time I spent with my daughters (older one came home from the Peace Corp) I regret moving back in. I should have started the divorce procedures and gotten a place of my own.

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