Post ICU Nightmares / Hallucinations

Posted by Kari Ulrich, Alumna Mentor @kariulrich, Apr 30, 2019

I was hospitalized several years ago and was in the ICU for approximately 3 days after vascular surgery. Those days were a bit of a blur, and my overall stay at St. Mary's was 5-6 nights. When I was in the ICU I was having chest pain and ended up on a nitro drip. I remember doctors and nurses talking very softly and I could not hear what they were saying... but I wanted to badly. I was so frightened and I could not seem to communicate my fears. I was constantly fighting the pain medication as I was scared to fall asleep. Again, I just remember feeling like no one was understanding what I was going through. At the time I was having auditory hallucinations...which added to my fear. It was like I could hear a constant loud rock concert and it was not enjoyable. To this day when I am extremely stressed, this sound comes back to haunt me. It does not happen often but when it does the fear is horrible. Would like to hear what others do to cope with nightmares or hallucinations. What have others experienced? I have never shared this, but I felt abandoned by my husband during that stay, he was not supportive- thankfully my best friend sat by the side of my bed til 1 or 2 am in the morning, holding my hand just so I would close my eyes. I became very bitter in my marriage and our relationship and am also wondering if this has happened to anyone? (We are currently separated as of recently... first time I am saying this out loud) Now that I am separated I have the same anxiety as I did in the hospital. Thank you in advance for sharing.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Intensive Care (ICU) Support Group.

I was admitted to the local hospital ICU about a year ago for two days. The whole night I was dreaming about a small airplane was landing and taking off with people's soul, who has passed away. There were full white lights and brightly lit area. A nurse was celebrating her birthday showing a white clean china tray (24x12 inches) that food was all eaten. Later I confirm there was nothing on that side of the building.

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@rav41

I was admitted to the local hospital ICU about a year ago for two days. The whole night I was dreaming about a small airplane was landing and taking off with people's soul, who has passed away. There were full white lights and brightly lit area. A nurse was celebrating her birthday showing a white clean china tray (24x12 inches) that food was all eaten. Later I confirm there was nothing on that side of the building.

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Hi @rav41, welcome to Connect. Do you continue to have hallucinations since your ICU experience a year ago?

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@colleenyoung

Hi @rav41, welcome to Connect. Do you continue to have hallucinations since your ICU experience a year ago?

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Not any more.

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Hi I joined this group to help others and yes get addidtional support. I was intubated and tracheotomy.I was in I.C.U. and step downs for 6 weeks. I left to a nursing home to continue my recovery. I was in a wheelchair after returning home. I was severly weak and confused.I was also grateful to be alive. I was also running from my own fears and thoughts. I have P.T.S.D. that I manage at home.I have agoraphobia. I have nightmares. I also have extensivly read and spoken to therapists. I can walk now with a cane.I have cognitive issues. I have some residual effects. I now try my best to write, i make alot of mistakes . Im going to read each persons post and reply if I can. Thank you for reading.

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@trauma57 Mayo Clinic Connect is a great place to give and get support. You've had a long journey of recovery and you have made a tremendous amount of progress.

It sounds like you have had the formal supports of therapists.

May I ask what your informal support system looks like? Such as, do you live alone and do you have friends and family that visit?

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Teresa: Hello I have adult kids close by that I can call on if needed. Thank you for acknowledging the progress; it has been a long road.

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@trauma57

Hi I joined this group to help others and yes get addidtional support. I was intubated and tracheotomy.I was in I.C.U. and step downs for 6 weeks. I left to a nursing home to continue my recovery. I was in a wheelchair after returning home. I was severly weak and confused.I was also grateful to be alive. I was also running from my own fears and thoughts. I have P.T.S.D. that I manage at home.I have agoraphobia. I have nightmares. I also have extensivly read and spoken to therapists. I can walk now with a cane.I have cognitive issues. I have some residual effects. I now try my best to write, i make alot of mistakes . Im going to read each persons post and reply if I can. Thank you for reading.

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@trauma57, thank you for adding your experience to this thread. I was intubated/trached and in a coma for 7 weeks this summer due to Covid. I did not know I was being intubated, and had no chance to prepare or ask questions. The dreams I had while unconscious are still so vivid, 5 months later. I still can't tell if some of them were dreams or reality, but some of them were clearly rooted in what was happening around me. (For instance, I thought that a team of nurse's aides were following me around town, popping up to say "Mrs Smith, do you know where you are?") The most common denominator was that I was paralyzed in the dreams; I was propped against things or laying down while things happened around me. I wonder if you were unable to move in your dreams?

I try to think of the positive: we had an experience that most people will never know. (Not one we would have chosen, of course, but still unique!) I am no longer afraid of dying as I knew I was dying in my dreams, and was at peace. I also have such a heart for the other Covid-19 sufferers going through their own ICU experience. I hope to be a volunteer resource for families at my local hospital, once we're able to do that again. I hope you are doing well!

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@donna562

@trauma57, thank you for adding your experience to this thread. I was intubated/trached and in a coma for 7 weeks this summer due to Covid. I did not know I was being intubated, and had no chance to prepare or ask questions. The dreams I had while unconscious are still so vivid, 5 months later. I still can't tell if some of them were dreams or reality, but some of them were clearly rooted in what was happening around me. (For instance, I thought that a team of nurse's aides were following me around town, popping up to say "Mrs Smith, do you know where you are?") The most common denominator was that I was paralyzed in the dreams; I was propped against things or laying down while things happened around me. I wonder if you were unable to move in your dreams?

I try to think of the positive: we had an experience that most people will never know. (Not one we would have chosen, of course, but still unique!) I am no longer afraid of dying as I knew I was dying in my dreams, and was at peace. I also have such a heart for the other Covid-19 sufferers going through their own ICU experience. I hope to be a volunteer resource for families at my local hospital, once we're able to do that again. I hope you are doing well!

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Thank you for sharing your experience. I did and still at times struggle with reality here or there issues. I learned to look at coping tools such as my walker i did not have before, to make sure it is now. Funny I also had dreams of not being able to use my legs, perhaps it was being medicated so much. I was given heavy sedatives daily. It was difficult at best. I think it is fantastic you want to volunteer. I want to help through a support group after I am much better mentally at processing. Take care.

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I'm so sorry with everything you've been through. I myself was admitted last January into the hospital for delta covid, walking pneumonia, sepsis, and placed on a ventilator in induced coma for 6 days, 4 units of plasma through a plasma port, feeding tube, 6 IV's, almost losing my life several times. Life hasn't been the same for me. My husband also hasn't been the support that i needed and it put a huge strain on our marriage. I suffer with the worse pics "post intensive care syndrome". I have nightmares, bad flashbacks, the feeling of still being restrained to the bed, tubes in my throat, needles in my arms, noises of machines, like I'm still there and it's been a year January 10th. It's the hardest thing in the world to deal with and I wish it on nobody. I'm looking to talk to others to help me and me help them. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk. Take care and my prayers are with you.

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Hi I would love to talk to you more about this as we have much in common! I have terrible memories of hallucinations I had while intubated in the ICU. And I mean really horrible. And I can’t stop thinking about them!

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