~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

@amberpep There are many things I should “have”and “had not”of done. Dwelling on those things will worsen things for me. I get stuck in those regrets and end up spiraling down and start doing the self pity thing and how others are thriving and if I had of or not had of-I only end up deeper in. Sounds you were accustomed to a better lifestyle in the past. Same here. Finding a job at any age can be difficult. Good you keep trying as we all need something to focus on and have something to do. I hear how you feel useless and want a job. Volunteering does not help pay the bills but may help you feel you are contributing in some way.

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@georgette12

Yes I've heard that happens. Many agencies pay more depending on the state. I get paid more in Colorado and I also decline all clients who are inappropriate. I also see the clients who I don't want and decline overnights and everything I don't want. That has always worked for me. On the other hand I understand how it can be challenging

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@georgette12
Point well taken. You can pick and choose home health care jobs. There are lots of different agencies to register with. Some are probably better than others..

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Re home health agencies, there are definitely some that try to take advantage of employees. I work for two agencies part time now. One is great. The other definitely has issues and frankly has tried to ask me to do what I will not do. They haven't fired me for my assertiveness yet. But I finally have figured out I need to stand up for myself or allow myself to be used. I do think that wherever you work it's the same thing . Employers will push those they think are weak. I just cannot let that happen anymore as I have in the past I will admit.

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Please don't be upset - although I can understand how you must feel. Can't your children help you out more? You raised them and took care of their every need - now it's time for them to step up to the plate and help you. I hope in some way they read all you wrote and come to your aide. You sound like a very special person - don't give up - there is always a way out. I will lift you up in my prayers. Take care of yourself.

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@parus

@amberpep So true. Knowing someone's age is a no-brainer. Think they are being polite or think us just plain stupid?? I truly am sorry things have been so difficult. Are your daughters aware?? They wanted you close. I will admit I am terribly confused.

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Hi parus .... yes, my daughters are aware.... one gives me money out of their tithe to their church each month, and my son, who lives in Alexandria, VA pitches in a good bit more. Frankly, I'm ready to go back .... but to what? No condo, no job ......

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@crissdawn

Check out some inspirational stuff..one of my favorite people to listen to to help my mood is Neil Pasricha. He is a 'real life guy' with a Harvard MBA who goes around talking about the best self help books, and how books can really help. I also listen to his podcasts which often have very inspirational messages as to why we get so down on ourselves and how it tends to be a cycle. The podcast is called 3books. He also fell into a depression and started a blog called 1000 awesome things. His work has helped me tremendously and I hope it helps you also! I unfortunately cannot include the links but check it out!

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This is a good idea, @crissdawn
Often on YouTube, you can find inspirational talks at no cost.

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Hubby & I worked .saved,,, did well for years, them his work cut his pension. He died , my daughter had a stroke, grandson has mental problems . Spent lots on them and living, medical, RX NO frills. NO vacations. I have CAD + diabetes, Much stress & worry . US says its a Christian country...but our gov't does not behave as such. Trump is a disgrace . GOP has tried to cut our hard earned SS / medicare . How about we cut their wages, perks, great pensions, and bribes aka corruption. GOP has NO family values. All the do is CUT funds for safety programs, education, Clean air & water, They are greedy suckers. We even have homeless vets Thats immoral !! I am 75 and have watched US go downhill . Trump even cut meals on wheels, FDA There is no big emergency at the border Just forks fleeing death & starvation . Trump is not self made His daddy gave him millions and he went bankrupt many times. leaving workers unpaid. US could stop illegals by charging those who hire them a Giant FEE & enforcing it. . Fact is US gov't & greedy Corps love that cheap slave labor. Reagan even passed Open borders in 80's so his fat cats could make billions off cheap labor. Gov't is complicit. The enemy is not foreign workers Its our US gov't GREED. !!! Ignorance is NOT bliss.

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O gosh, how are you making it? That's awful. The woman from MedExpress never called me back despite 4 calls to her. I'm now filling out an application for WalMart ... I know they're hiring. The setup for seniors, unless you've saved and saved, is bleak, for sure. I've seen pictures of SanFran. of homeless people in little homemade tents along buildings .... some of which are our Vets. That's a disgrace. I found out that VA has one of the lowest minimum wage ... it's $7.15 .... some states are as high as $15.00. And Vermont actually pays people to move there - $10,000 ..... I guess it's no wonder with their winters. For me, a lot of it is age .... everything sound "oh so good" until they find out how old I am. No age discrimination? Phooey!
abby

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Hi all ..... just an update of "nothing." ...... I've given up. I'm done looking and trying and filling out those myriad of applications on line that are all the same ... I don't know why they can't keep that information from one and just fill in the next. I've kept a few doctors in the city in which I lived in MD so I do get to go up once a month. I live in a low-income apartment complex and WOW, the things that go on is amazing. If nothing else, I'm getting a whole new education. So, as is often said, "it is what it is."
abby

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