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Hi Linda, thank you so much for the kind words and advice. I will try that when he's done with work in a few hours (works remotely, SAYS he'll go on disability Oct 1 but we shall see). Fingers crossed!!!

As far as your sister, if she ever needs someone to talk to that has been through the rough times and got through it then please feel free to private message me. Or if you'd like to talk offline about it please feel free to contact me.

I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 19 and was in the meds "guinnea pig" stage until I was 28 and it was HARD! Beyond hard. She put it so so well when she explained it! The way I try to explain how it feels, and people have said they understand more when I say this, is that I would see everyone around me who were "normal" and I just wouldn't understand how they handled situations better than I did, how they dealt with things so well without being SO sad. Even simple things that then seemed huge to me. I didn't understand "normal" until my meds started working consistently at 28. Mania was different. I never thought or cared about what the outside world saw when i was manic - racing thoughts led to talking about ridiculous things, acting with no thought of consequences, etc. I would struggle with taking meds when I was in a manic phase because I felt great. Like I could do anything (delusions of grandeur is also a manic trait as you probably know).

Saying things happen for a reason is SO cliche yet I think the only reason I'm able to be strong for my husband is because I got through something impossible and came out of that hole, which i never thought I would. My life was happy for a little while before another impossible situation was thrown at me. I told my husband once that maybe he has cancer because he was dragged into my bad luck with life. Rationally I know that's ridiculous and actually pretty self absorbed but I feel like someone up there just wants to see how hard they can push until I break. I'm terrified of the day that I lose him and hoping it will be MUCH longer than the prognosis but that may be the breaking point. I've started therapy to start dealing with that now (I haven't been to therapy since I became stable... just meds). Has your sister ever reached the point of stability or is she still trying different meds? I'm so sorry she is going through this and I'm so sorry you are too. I know how much of an effect my emotions had on my family and it breaks my heart that I put them through it for so many years. She is so lucky to have you. And it helps more than you could ever know. There were many times I was on the verge of suicide and the only reason I didn't do it was the thought of what it would do to my family. I am alive because of their love and support. I know my husband was able to stay positive for 6 months because of the love and support of his friends and family. Hopefully he'll get through this depression and that support will motivate him to fight again. I'll let you know how the walk goes. Thank you so much again!!!

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Hi Linda, thank you so much for the kind words and advice. I will try that when he's done with work in a few hours (works remotely, SAYS he'll go on disability Oct 1 but we shall see). Fingers crossed!!!

As far as your sister, if she ever needs someone to talk to that has been through the rough times and got through it then please feel free to private message me. Or if you'd like to talk offline about it please feel free to contact me.

I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 19 and was in the meds "guinnea pig" stage until I was 28 and it was HARD! Beyond hard. She put it so so well when she explained it! The way I try to explain how it feels, and people have said they understand more when I say this, is that I would see everyone around me who were "normal" and I just wouldn't understand how they handled situations better than I did, how they dealt with things so well without being SO sad. Even simple things that then seemed huge to me. I didn't understand "normal" until my meds started working consistently at 28. Mania was different. I never thought or cared about what the outside world saw when i was manic - racing thoughts led to talking about ridiculous things, acting with no thought of consequences, etc. I would struggle with taking meds when I was in a manic phase because I felt great. Like I could do anything (delusions of grandeur is also a manic trait as you probably know).

Saying things happen for a reason is SO cliche yet I think the only reason I'm able to be strong for my husband is because I got through something impossible and came out of that hole, which i never thought I would. My life was happy for a little while before another impossible situation was thrown at me. I told my husband once that maybe he has cancer because he was dragged into my bad luck with life. Rationally I know that's ridiculous and actually pretty self absorbed but I feel like someone up there just wants to see how hard they can push until I break. I'm terrified of the day that I lose him and hoping it will be MUCH longer than the prognosis but that may be the breaking point. I've started therapy to start dealing with that now (I haven't been to therapy since I became stable... just meds). Has your sister ever reached the point of stability or is she still trying different meds? I'm so sorry she is going through this and I'm so sorry you are too. I know how much of an effect my emotions had on my family and it breaks my heart that I put them through it for so many years. She is so lucky to have you. And it helps more than you could ever know. There were many times I was on the verge of suicide and the only reason I didn't do it was the thought of what it would do to my family. I am alive because of their love and support. I know my husband was able to stay positive for 6 months because of the love and support of his friends and family. Hopefully he'll get through this depression and that support will motivate him to fight again. I'll let you know how the walk goes. Thank you so much again!!!

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My mother has dementia. We noticed last year she had some signs that something wasn't right and asked her if she was taking her meds, just doing things like laundry and making meals. My sister in law came to visit and confirmed she wasn't doing anything I mentioned. I was having hip problems at the time and could not get around well. Took her to our family doctor and he said she was clean dressed nicely and talked with him about things. Said he didn't see any problems. I went down every day to make sure she took her meds did her grocery shopping and wash. Found out she had bags of dirty laundry hidden around the house. Next she started forgetting about appointments would come down to take her only to find out she would be sleeping and not even ready. This was her hair appt. would call her 2 hours before an appointment so she would be ready. Then after she started going back to sleep and forgot that I even called her. She started not remembering current things. Wouldn't even remember what she ate. Finally I was able to get her in a hospital too see what was going on. Found out she had a severe uti and they started treating her. Thought that might have been the problem. No not really. They transferred her to a nursing home for physical and occupational therapy. She stayed there 3 Weeks and they determined she needed more care then I could provide. During this time I had severe hip problems and could hardly get around. I was on pain medication for it but had to find a place for my mom. Couldn't take her to my house because bathroom was upstairs and she was using a walker and couldn't do steps. Dont know if I did the right thing but I called a place for mom to see if they could help. Actually made appointments for me to see the assisted living places. I did check out the reviews and one seemed pretty nice. We admitted her there. Now I am questioning myself if I picked the right one. Seems there are somethings that I am concerned about. One was there air conditioning not working the past week when it was really hot. It was not just her room it was other places. An aide told me to talk to the director when I did they blamed it on the patients why it was not working. I was there one day when it was off. It had tripped the circuit. Two days later it wasn't working and by the end of the week still was not working. Also asked if a doctor had been in to see her at all. One was supposed to come in every 3 months to check on her. Asked the director said she has been there long enough he should have came said they would check never got an answer. Now I am wondering if this was the right place to put her. Maybe I am just feeling guilty I put her in there. My brother who lives in Texas never even came up to help with anything. I couldnt walk and my husband who has a slipped disk had to get everything moved out of her apartment. I felt at the time we were doing wrong. That she should have had some say to what she wanted to keep. Everybody said I was crazy. My husband felt the same way when he was getting rid of things. Months later she has been realizing that she has been there awhile and has started asking about certain things. Told her my son and daughter have most we kept a lot that thought she might want. She seemed to be happy about that. It's just been hard and now a year later I am finally starting to get around better and spending more time with her. Worst of all I am feeling bad that I had to place her anywhere. My brother tells me if I didn't she probably would have died already. its botherig me know because I feel I wasn't capable enough to making important decisions and am questioning myself.

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Right now I am in a bad place and really struggling. The kind words and support I have received from all of you is like a small candle in the dark. Thank you all.

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My mother has dementia. We noticed last year she had some signs that something wasn't right and asked her if she was taking her meds, just doing things like laundry and making meals. My sister in law came to visit and confirmed she wasn't doing anything I mentioned. I was having hip problems at the time and could not get around well. Took her to our family doctor and he said she was clean dressed nicely and talked with him about things. Said he didn't see any problems. I went down every day to make sure she took her meds did her grocery shopping and wash. Found out she had bags of dirty laundry hidden around the house. Next she started forgetting about appointments would come down to take her only to find out she would be sleeping and not even ready. This was her hair appt. would call her 2 hours before an appointment so she would be ready. Then after she started going back to sleep and forgot that I even called her. She started not remembering current things. Wouldn't even remember what she ate. Finally I was able to get her in a hospital too see what was going on. Found out she had a severe uti and they started treating her. Thought that might have been the problem. No not really. They transferred her to a nursing home for physical and occupational therapy. She stayed there 3 Weeks and they determined she needed more care then I could provide. During this time I had severe hip problems and could hardly get around. I was on pain medication for it but had to find a place for my mom. Couldn't take her to my house because bathroom was upstairs and she was using a walker and couldn't do steps. Dont know if I did the right thing but I called a place for mom to see if they could help. Actually made appointments for me to see the assisted living places. I did check out the reviews and one seemed pretty nice. We admitted her there. Now I am questioning myself if I picked the right one. Seems there are somethings that I am concerned about. One was there air conditioning not working the past week when it was really hot. It was not just her room it was other places. An aide told me to talk to the director when I did they blamed it on the patients why it was not working. I was there one day when it was off. It had tripped the circuit. Two days later it wasn't working and by the end of the week still was not working. Also asked if a doctor had been in to see her at all. One was supposed to come in every 3 months to check on her. Asked the director said she has been there long enough he should have came said they would check never got an answer. Now I am wondering if this was the right place to put her. Maybe I am just feeling guilty I put her in there. My brother who lives in Texas never even came up to help with anything. I couldnt walk and my husband who has a slipped disk had to get everything moved out of her apartment. I felt at the time we were doing wrong. That she should have had some say to what she wanted to keep. Everybody said I was crazy. My husband felt the same way when he was getting rid of things. Months later she has been realizing that she has been there awhile and has started asking about certain things. Told her my son and daughter have most we kept a lot that thought she might want. She seemed to be happy about that. It's just been hard and now a year later I am finally starting to get around better and spending more time with her. Worst of all I am feeling bad that I had to place her anywhere. My brother tells me if I didn't she probably would have died already. its botherig me know because I feel I wasn't capable enough to making important decisions and am questioning myself.

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