Suicide Is Not The Solution..........

Suicide continues to be a topic that makes some uncomfortable. I think it will always be because it is just so final. I agree with the saying "Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem". While the latter, temporary, is not always true because many of us suffer for a very long time with intermittent breaks, I still feel that life is worth living despite how bad one may view ones own circumstances. I know I am not the only person in the world who is and/or was suffering. We have to love ourselves no matter how difficult it may be. Other's have most likely hurt us with their words, actions, inactions, ignorance etc. but we do not have to do the same. Please if you are feeling hopeless and reaching the end of your rope call 911, go to your local er and call your docs. There are people all over the world hurting and struggling to survive just like us and many are fighters no matter what. I know you are strong and will do whatever you need to do to feel better.
God Bless & Hugs Rox

Roxie - what a beautiful and thoughtful essay you have written.

I think I may understand what happened to your 2 friends. I suffer from a few health issues - the worst one being that I can not get restorative sleep.

There have been times when I have thought of "curing" this problem by "pulling the curtains down" on my wonderful life.

What has stopped me is the thought that while my health problems will be "cured",
the pain of those who love and care for me will begin.

I don't want that - I don't want to cause pain or cause people to ask - "if only I had said or done something…".

Hello Joe,
Thank you for sharing with us. Suicide is such a difficult action to understand. When we are suffering constantly it can be seen as the only solution but if we step back and really look at our lives and those that really love us we gain a clearer perspective. I too have contemplated and attempted and it is one of the most humbling experiences ever. Life is difficult…bottom line and I simply pray that those that have made it difficult for me vanish and/or one day learn that human suffering is real and peoples actions hurt. I am glad that you have not Pulled the Curtain Down! I am sure that there is much more ahead for you than simply being ill. Big Hug, Rox

Suicide is such a touchy situation. I feel like nobody who has ever been suicidal will never know the pain one has to feel in order to really believe that there is no other way. I don't advocate suicide, but I certainly do not judge anybody who considers suicide as their only option. Do I think that a person should seek the help from anyone and everyone possible in order to make life tolerable? Absolutely! However, don't you find it selfish to force a person to live in misery if they've done all that they can do, and once doctors tell them that there is no hope, let them die with dignity? Let it be their choice? I have already been a burden on my loved ones due to my medical problems. I realize that there is a good chance that I may end up in a wheelchair someday. I am 31 years old, and I am already in diapers for unknown reasons. I refuse to be in a position to force my husband or my parents to have to ever change my diapers. My health has been deteriorating faster and faster every day for 4 years. The last year, I've thought a lot about my future, or lack thereof. I no longer have the strength or energy to do anything. I can barely work my part time job. I'm too sick to live, but not sick enough to die. I've given myself a timeframe to try and heal myself. I'm seeking help through medical doctors, as well as holistic healers. I will not give up without a fight, but I also refuse to live in pain, watching my organs quit working, and sit in diapers for the next 50+ years. I've had more trauma in my life than most could dream of, I am a fighter and a survivor, but I'm also only human.

Wishing you all health and happiness…

~amtb~

You are a fighter and a survivor! You have to believe that if you never give up life can be beautiful. I lost wonderful people to suicide and I miss them dearly. I wish they could see all that I saw in them. However, just like you, I too am human and realize how important feeling good, healthy, loved, proud and worhty are.

Hi you are right suicide is a situtation that none of us want to be faced with but sometimes we are. I myself have felt suicidal at times and have lost friends close to me through this. It's not easy for the friends and family who have lost their loved ones and at times is really hard to understand, but unfortunately we had to try to accept. I believe however that everyone who has palliative care needs should have the right to leave this world with dignity. I think at the end of the day that we are all survivors and try our best to deal with challenges that are bestowed upon us.
Take care Piglit

Suicide can be such a taboo topic but it is real and people are ending their lives during times that appear so hopeless that they do not see any other option. There are options but in the midst of constant pain and trying times it can seem impossible to see past how one is feeling in the moment. I too have been suicidal and actually made an attempt but it was during a time that I had lost all faith in everything. I am happy to still be alive despite my life being less than perfect because I have people that really love me and would be devastated. I am still going through some trying times but as I reflect on all that I have been through in life and am still here I have to believe and have faith that God did not put me on this earth to simply suffer.
Some people can report feeling miserable all the time but if we really do a little self inventory there have been times when someone, something and/or our faith and family made us feel worthy.
We are worthy of all the wonderful things that life has to offer us. We may not always feel as such because this world also has some not so nice people but we cannot mistreat ourselves because others mistreated us.
It's a process, it's all a process; learning to appreciate small things, being humble, forgiveness-not for them but for us, and never giving up…always hoping, dreaming, praying and having the ability to love ourselves flaws and all. Remember! NO ONE IS Perfect…
Big Hug…
Rox~

Hello Friends & readers,
I know firsthand how difficult life can get but remember "This Too Shall Pass". You have to force yourself at times to believe in your ability to overcome any obstacle. Yes, easier said than done, but we have done it before and will continue stepping up to the plate to bat because our life is precious.
Hugs,
Rox

Hello My friends,
I just wanted to check in and make sure that you are all okay…Please always remember that hopelessness and feelings of desparation do pass and that with support systems in place we can be happy… Never give up on yourselves even if you feel everyone else has…
Hugs

I am happy that I am still alive and that I finally came to realize that I am worthy…You are all worthy…Big Hug

I had a really good session last week. I was able to verbalize, honestly, that I want to live! WOW this was powerful, freeing and gave me hope.
Hugs,
Rox… NEVER EVER give up…you are worth it all

Good! Lets LIVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE

I get sad. I know how losing hope feels. Family, prayer, friends help so much.

I know we all feel sad at times but it is good to keep the faith and rely on your inner strength and so true China family and friends do help Hugs Piglit

Hopelessness and pain can make one desparaate… Please, just hang in there and reach out to someone..

Beautifully put..I lost my daughter in 2003 to suicide my world and her childrens was changed forever ..it is an on going process to deal with the pain …

how r u sandra.

We are thinking of you Sandra..
Hugs

sorry 4ur loss sandra

So sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers are with u. Jodi/ruby

I hope you are okay Sandra.

Thinking of you sandra.. I often think of my losses but cherish the good memories.
Hugs

Dear Sandra,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a loss and a pain that haunts me especially because I too have felt this desparate. I take things one day at a time but I think of the people, wonderful humans beings that are no longer here, and I miss them..
Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life.
Hugs,
Roxie

In the midst of chaos and despair some get desperate, myself included in the past, but there has to be more to life than pain and suffering l.
We have to believe this wholeheartedly!
Hugs

We do have to beleive this my dear Rox and keep our faith and believe in ourselves to stay strong Hugs

Albeit difficult we have to have faith that better days are within our grasp.
Hugs

god luvs us

he does China and we need to keep our faith

some old rocker was sick n did it. have faith and pray cause u feel better

so sad and so true my dear China

Prayer does help.

We are wonderful human beings who deserve all the good that life has to offer. It often seems unfair that life does not always bless us with goodness but we have to be appreciative of the good times.

thank you for this post, once I get in this dark mindset its hard to focus on anything besides the bad, this site has really helped me tonight :) thank you again, very good timing for me to read

Hey buddy it helps me 2 even though peeps don't like my honesty.

You are welcome dear,
It's important to realize that human beings from all over the world experience dark times that can pull us into such a dark state of mind that our thoughts become enmeshed with darkness as well.
My grandma, who passed away at the end of March, was a strong and positive aspect of my life. She was religious and believed that goodness and faith would trump all of the bad in this world.
There were dark times when I challenged my grammies views. Interestingly, meeting a chaplain in the hospital after my first attempt gave me a sense of purpose and in a way validated what my grammie taught me.
We are truly resilient beyond our own awareness! We may feel weak at times but if we objectively reflect on our lives we cannot deny just how special and unique we are.
So, my dear friend and friends, we cannot give up on ourselves when life becomes challenging. We must do whatever it takes to pull ourselves out of that dark place because WE ARE WORTHY OF SUNSHINE, SUCCESS, LOVE, INNER. PEACE AND HAPPINESS…
I'm glad that you also found this site and hope that you never feel alone because we are survivors and care deeply for one another …
Hugs,
Roxie

we r good people

it's a feeling of comfort to know that we have each other and understand and care Hugs piglit

Again, on the news last evening was a story about a 12 year old boy in NY who ended his life. Another life lost due to bullying. This is so sad. 12 years old! Please, educate, educate, educate our children, friends, family and communities that this behavior is not acceptable.
Hugs,
Rox

Disgustting I 2 was bullied in school. Not a good feeling 2b laughed at.

It so is not acceptable reassure your children and friends that it is okay to speak up and not to be afraid to do so. My heart goes out to that young's boys family and friends another young life so tragically gone. With bullying with anyone but especailly with young people they can become clinical depressed very quickly,please be aware that cyber bullying is out there in force and makes these children so very vulnerable, They are bullied in the schoolyard, classrooms and then they go home turn on their computers and they are confronted again. When wiil change be made to these tragic situations. Take care piglit

Unfortunately, change doesn't happen as quick as it should be. It's disheartening and shameful. :-(.

it is they just let it go on and on no action is taken , people in authority to do something about this just don't seem to want to listen. I really don't know how they can sleep at nights Piglit

Kids caring 4 selves no real parents

The majority of parents do care ,I cared I withdrew my son took him out of school, had him counselled for 3months, Eventually when he was well enough he was placed in another school and has never looked back. Parents do care the system is what fails them.

Hi Piglit,
Parent's do indeed care. The problem stems from bullies, young and adult, having so much access to the vulnerable via: school, work, the internet, texting and even video taping. The system is very broken and so innocent people suffer until it's unbearable. It's horrible but it's prevalent and every time that I hear another story it's heartbreaking. Perhaps the bullies parents are not as involved, who knows, or perhaps out of fear or embarrassment the victims are not reporting their targeting but whatever the reasons something has to be done. It's so sad…
Hugs,
Rox

it is so sad an unfortunately times change but people don't. In my son's old school the teachers were well aware and did nothing about it. Hugs Piglit

It really is comforting because instead of withdrawing into despair we can reach out to others whom genuinely understand our feelings.
Let's try to enjoy this beautiful day that we have been fortunately blessed with…
Hugs

and friends who are also willing just to listen as well. Enjoy the day my dear friends

Hi J the one good thing is that many of us do so understand and care. Just by reading this post you would be more than aware that I other members of the community do understand and are always willing to be there for you and listen. Always here Piglit

ur nice

yes, your right I do know people here understand and don't just judge.. this site and you Piglit and others have been so helpful, but in the past I always made a mental list of reasons why I should but now I just focus on why I am thankful for being here today… just in the hour or 2 I been on forum tonight I have regained control of my subconscious and put my negative thinking in check :) thanks again

I.m so proud of you we have talked alot tonight and i.m glad that you are focusing on the postive. It is so important to tell me others how we are feeling then we can work through the way that we feel together. Remember my dear friend that each day is new day and a gift to us all treasure life and the things that make your world. Your little dude does this for you each and everyday, he needs you and so do we youre a very dear friend to me and others in our group. Always here Piglit

Each day is a gift Annie and an opportunity to continue reaching for our dreams and goals …
Hugs,
Rox

so true rox hugsx

dreams and goals are wonderful things to follow in life they help to uplift our spiritsHugs piglit

Hi All,
Over the past five months or so, I have started several discussions involving many common themes associated with mental illness.
I would have to state that the discussion on suicide would have to be my most meaningful. As a friend recently stated "Life is hard", and he is absolutely correct …it is.
Interestingly, no matter how hard life has been or presently is, we are resilient and have survived all the challenges that we have been forced to confront.
Suicide, is one of those topics, that is often considered taboo and people are afraid to discuss it.
The fact that some have caused their own mortality breaks my heart because I know the dark feeling of desperation and hopelessness all to well.
Life is hard my dear friends and perhaps we have been disappointed by many whom we trusted. Our strength has given us the ability to overcome many of life's disappointments.
During my time on this website, I have had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful human beings. Many of us share commonalities as well as differences but an important common theme is that we long for good health, happiness and peace within ourselves and circumstances.
So, I have to return to the title of this post/discussion because if we genuinely want a better life WE have to continue confronting our challenges in hopes and with persistent faith that much brighter day's are ahead.
In order to see those much anticipated brighter days we have to be good to ourselves and also know when it's time to ask for help.
I remember growing up watching families on TV and wondering what failed with mine. We cannot compare our stories with fictitious displays of normalcy. We were meant to be unique, different and yes, prone to certain conditions but we were never meant to hurt ourselves.
One of the most beautiful experiences in this world, is the ability to feel good in our own skin and love who we see when we look into a mirror. I'm still working on this and I hope all of you continue working on the issues that plague you and make you feel less than what you truly are… which is GREAT and deserving of all the good that life has to offer.
Sincerely,
Roxie

Hi Rox
Suicide sure is taboo. I am shocked by how taboo mental health providers are about it.
After I attempted no one wanted to talk about the attempt but me. I had just done a horrific life altering thing and i'm not supposed to talk about it? The docs didn't care what I had OD'ed on? No one assessed or did squat with/about the cerebral damage I just did. It would have been helpful to know that not being able to discern faces was a sign of the neurological damage. I had to look everything up on the internet. That was difficult too as the medical professionals don't address self-induced brain trauma and sequelea I fumbled about in the traumatic brain injury places looking for folks who had suffered loss of oxygen to the brain by others means (drowning etc)
Therapists didn't want to talk about it either. That one really surprised me. I was just a few weeks past my attempt and in a group partial hospitalization program and had a huge crisis and was so afraid that I was going to suicide about it. I was in that place just before the real thoughts about plans and goodbye notes start. I told the group about it. Not much response other than the leader asking me to contract verbally for safety, which I did. The next day in group people were 'confronting' me about how wrong it was for me to make them worry about me, be afraid that I wouldn't return. WTF? My life has come undone but lets not talk about that?
Ok, so it looks like I am still mad about that, surprisingly. Shoot here I am in tears remembering that night sitting in my car trying to find enough change to get a few bottles of tylenol. I was flat broke at that time and dependent on my boyfriend for $$$ and he was part of the crisis and I didn't want to talk to him. Thankfully I didn't find enough change!Sometimnes I think that the traumas incurred in my post attempt treatment were almost as bad as what put me there in the first place.

OK I'm done with that. I'm wiping my eyes and wondering how I could do advocacy training for professionals…

LizKat

soory. u better

Lizzie,
Just like I advised Annie, I'll suggest to you, start your own discussions. I cannot fathom how professionals cannot openly discuss what led to a hospitalization. That tells me that one needs much more than initials after a last name.
One is either a good clinician will common sense or not. I'm sorry you weren't given the appropriate opportunity to process your attempt in a safe and supportive environment.
I was at a hospital that had wonderful groups and everyone openly discussed what brought them to the hospital. No funny faces nor discouragement by anyone. I think that I would have requested a transfer if I had experienced this.
It's taboo because some see it as weakness instead of the reality that being depressed causes horrible thoughts and action's when one is consumed by darkness.
Share your stories Lizzie because many professionals read this and can learn…
Hugs,
Rox

Hi Rox
Thanks for your support and post, very helpful. I am going to look into any local chapters of NAMI and what volunteering I might do.
One chapter that I encountered while working had an excellent presentation panel and advocates for patients.
You are right, I haven't adequately processed all that has transpired.I'm gonna look around for an EMDR therapist.
Thank you for caring
Lizzie

Hi lizzie. It too amazes me after one of my attempts i was in icu in a public hospital. No one was interested the dr came in checked on hy vitals my heart rate they couldn't get back to normal. When i left the hospital i was then re hospitalized in a phyche hospital once again. I too am crying at the thought of this. I arrived and a nurse came in a said oh your'e having a bad time of things and left. I thought i was going to die. In a way i wanted to no one seemed to care. I was then not allowed to leave and put on watch as i told them i wanted just to walk into the middle of a road. I was so tired and exhausted of trying my strength had gone. What kept me going was the thought of what this would do to my family especially my son. You are true in your words and i am sorry that you have experienced what you have been through and my other friends and I feel sorry for me sometimes although i feel i don;t have that right. I wish the medical profession would take notice, stand up and listen , because these are real cries for help and need to be addressed. Also people that run help group sessions should be more qualified . You no i feel stronger these days alhtough i still have my moments and always will becasuse this is me who i am. I try to help people and make a difference in peoples lifes through my own expereinces and let people know that I and many others do care understand and want to help and most important of all to listen
Hugs piglit

Hugs back to you Piglit. I know you will always listen and care, Thankyou
Lizzie

Firstly i would like to thank you Roxie for your ongoing support given to me and members of our group. You no I always feel that sometimes we think that it's a weakness to ask for help when we are feeling like this. i have had suicidal thoughts and unfortunatley have also attempted. I think that it is a strength that we have to realize that if we do feel like this to speak to someone tell them how you are feeling . Once we just stay in the rut as such the situation worsens and the thoughts increase, We also have to accept ourselves as we are and realize that this is us and we are all special in our own ways. Take on life's challenges my dear friends and each one you take on will give you strength to deal with the next one. I no myself that i accept me for me and at times are very hard on me and expect way to much of myself we all have to realize our limits and try to stay within them if we can. I no that I will always have times of high anxiety, depression and thoughts i don;t wont to think about but this is who i am and i am proud of the things that I have achieved sometimes against all odds. Follow your dreams and when you find one try to follow it and soon you may surprize yourself and fly with it. Rox is so right we are all deserving of what life has to offer and we are all so special and unique and remember we all can make a difference in someone's life if we just reach out , smile and hold them a little while even if it's in our hearts . Stay safe Take care Piglit

Dear Piglit,
Thank you for your honesty and uplifting response. It's so important for others to know that we too have walked in their shoes and have felt so hopeless that we no longer wanted to live. The beauty in our stories is that we didn't succeed in our attemps and that we survived and continue striving for internal calm and peace.
I just adore that we are all special and have so much to offer.
It can be so difficult to see how gifted we truly are when depression or co-morbid disorders or even everyday stressor's negatively impact our views.
So, my friends, Piglit and I have survived and although we still have challenges today we are in a better place and are always available to you if and when you need us.
By no means, can we replace your doctors, but we can be your friends and encourage you when you're feeling discouraged or simply need a non-judgemental ear…
Hugs,
Rox

Roxie and I are here for you our dear friends anytime we do understand and care so much for you all
Hugs Piglit

Dear Reader's,
Please call 911 or go to your local emergency room if you don't feel safe. There is no mountain tall enough that can keep you from recovering…just work hard at it!
Hugs,
Rox

Stupif commercial on now Depression hurts cymbalta can help. Depression does hurt n not all pills help.

Lately the news has been increasingly reporting stories of murder/suicides. Just yesterday a woman killed her 80 something year old mom and then took her life. It's disheartening when finances, which is what the news reported, is a contributing factor.
Money alone can't possibly make people do such things or can they? I know how it feels to want to disappear but we have to believe in ourselves that we can overcome any obstacle or challenge. One of my doctors always tells me to be gentle with myself and it's so meaningful because often we can ad to our feelings of pain by not taking care of ourselves. This is not intentional but when we feel so beat down is can easily happen.
So my friends please be kind and gentle with yourselves and never give up hoping and dreaming of brighter days to come.
Sincerely,
Rox

Another sad story in the news yesterday. Its so disrespectful when someone known passes due to self inflicting trauma but the media has to put the human beings past troubles into the story as well. The use of problems with drug addiction was mentioned. I found it offensive because someone just passed away. Anything for a story I'm guessing.
Be safe this weekend my friends,
Rox

The media can be so inappropriate at times and it is so true Rox anything for that story and know thought to the feelings of the family and friends of another dear soul so tragically lost

Hi Piglit,
It's on the news daily now and the drug addiction continues to be reported. She's part of the Kennedy family so it's big news. They even reported that she hung herself. Privacy in America is lost. Apparently over issues with money but still, please, give the woman a little respect. Just horrible being famous or wealthy in this country.
Hoping all my friends are safe and know to call 911 for help…
Hugs,
Rox

Just as an FYI attempting/committing suicide is actually against the law and if one is charged tho I'm not sure how they would charge the completers, but it is then a matter of public record. Silliness, can't they spin these stories with some message of clearer direction or something?

Roxie
You are so right. I never really thought about how invasive bullying can be in the information age. Those kids aren't safe anywhere.
sick
Lizzie

Hi Lizzie,
I've never heard of such a thing. Is this the case in your state?
Rox

Hi Roxie
Yup it is illegal in my state. When I attempted I left letters for my kids and put in their envelopes the jewelry I wanted them to have. When my eldest figured out why I wouldn't wake up he called my X to come. That idiot let the police take the envelopes with the jewelry still in them as they were evidence to a crime. I had to go through many hoops to get my jewelry back, but they would not release my notes.
I was never arrested or charged
LizKat